The Clerk Manifesto

I know there are children going to bed hungry tonight, people who are unjustly imprisoned rotting away in cruel jails, and good folk ...

Dear editor, Tropical Fish Hobbyist : Recently I have been submitting my work to an assortment of national and local magazines an...

 No, sorry, no picture. This is what is known in the trade as clickbait. But wait! Don't leave! I am here to help you. I a...

Dear Editor: Enclosed below is a brief rejection form letter for your convenience. Simply check off the appropriate boxes and ...

Dear editor, Rolling Stone Magazine ; I have recently begun writing many of the great national magazines- Tropical Fish Hobbyist ,...

I became a soccer fan a scant 14 months ago through the keyhole of Lionel Messi, the smaller-than-your-average-athlete soccer genius...

Dear Editor of Vanity Fair : Originally I thought that the Internet would be the perfect place to publish my stream of brilliant s...

Dear Editor, Library Journal: I have written an increasingly unsuccessful blog every day for two and a half years now. Originally it...

Children scream at my library. Children cry, throw tantrums, shriek, and howl. Their blood curdling yowls can sound like birds or monke...

Because the title may throw you if you don't know the magazine, The Believer is not some sort of religious magazine, but rather is ...

Dear Editor, Wired Magazine : I think of you as the fundamental spokesmagazine for the Internet age. You are the magazine of r...

The City Pages is our local events weekly newspaper in the twin cities. Many a rival paper has come and gone... Dear City Pages E...

With all my co-workers now leaving, or threatening to leave the library for assorted questionable reasons, I am here bracing for all t...

Dear Editor: I have in the past idly thought of submitting my relevant work to Cat Fancy Magazine . Unfortunately Cat Fancy seemed...

Dear ___ Magazine Editor: ___ Newspaper Editor: ___ Mailroom Intern: ___ Department of Homeland Security Agent: I apologize for ...

It started a few days ago. Many more are coming. It's the letters. Letters to publishers, letters to agents, letters to magazines...

Dear New Yorker Magazine , The New Yorker Magazine is a legendary magazine representing the heart of the deep literary history of N...