It has almost been a week since we visited our mythical amusement park Clerkmanifestoland.
That is too long! Or maybe it is exactly as long as it was destined to be.
I guess it depends on how you feel the Universe works.
But we are back today, visiting the most wonderful amusement park in the world, Clerkmanifestoland. To refresh your memory, Clerkmanifestoland is the gigantic amusement park based on clerkmanifesto, which is coincidentally what you are reading right now. The symbol of the Clerkmanifestoland Park is the ubiquitous bugheart symbol. It has fox, skunk, the King of the Schnorrers, and Doris the super intelligent alien as its delightful mascots. And of course there are its famous five lands:
We aren't featuring a first person account today of someone's personal experience in the park as we have done a couple of times in the past. Today is a simple presentation of a park ride that is located in Dreamland Rome, the land perhaps most famous for its mercurial Bernini Vs. Borromini Martin Buber Memorial Theater.
Dreamland Rome has but one ride, The Condeluded Ride, but boy is it some ride!
I'm going to tell you about it today!
And show you a lot of pictures of it too.
Named for the famous word, coined years ago here in clerkmanifesto, "condeluded", which means to be confused in one's own favor, this ride travels through what may be post apocalyptic industrial wastelands, but they could very well just be regular old industrial wastelands, it can be oddly hard to tell the difference.
Known famously as "The Best Ride Ever" mostly due to the plethora of signs throughout the ride stating exactly that, Condeluded is a leisurely swan boat ride with a few highly touted "thrills", usually where the swan boats dump out of sewage channels.
The ride is crammed with signs about how great it is, all as your swan boat lazily drifts you through weirdly colored water, towering garbage heaps, and unwholesome smells. "Voila!" You will cry. "It is a critique of Capitalism itself!"
But for all the money you paid to get in the park and go on the ride itself, fortunately, it is also rather a pleasant ride.
The exit of the ride does wander past a small gift shop, which is pretty damn ironic! You know what else is ironic? Sometimes you can see more people wearing the "Capitalism Sucks" shirts from this shop than you can see wearing the plain bugheart shirts which are sold everywhere!
As a final note: If you are a fan of park mascots and the like, you will find that Doris, the super intelligent alien who lives in the park (so we call her a mascot) is fairly obsessed with this ride. So if you want an autograph or selfie, it is never too hard to spot her on or near this ride.
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