Showing posts with label sad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sad. Show all posts

Monday, March 9, 2026

My favorite park







I'm afraid my Belle Epoque city lacks for parks. Maybe because it has wonderfully long, and sometimes astonishing promenades, like the famous one along the ocean, or the long parkway that covers over the Paillon River right through the heart of the city, and then as well because it has the lovely Castle Hill with its waterfall in the sky towering at its edge, maybe my city doesn't feel like much is required in the way of parks. But I do have a feeling of a lacking green space in this dense thrall of people and restaurants, bakeries and offices, grand buildings and gelaterias. This city is just so popular, and teeming with humanity, that when it finds space, it defaults to open places and wide paths, and they all quickly fill with people too. Aside from the ocean, glorious, but at a remove, this is a hard place to feel like one is walking through nature, or really even has much to do with it.

It is a mild complaint, and I have bigger ones, because... that's my nature, but after a few months of living here, I feel it. We have small parks here, gated, locked at night, on small single city blocks. The good ones have a fountain at the center, with a nice sculpture. A wide path circles around said sculpture a little as if it is meandering about through trees and greenery, but, let's face it, these places are never big enough for meandering. The path is short, wide, full of well used benches, and streets and people are always close by.

But even though this is all true, there is one park, not all that much bigger than the others I've declaimed, and not functionally so very different, that I am growing to love anyway.


But maybe I didn't have to start this post with a rundown about how there aren't enough parks I love here? I could have just said:


There is a delightful little park here, not far down the street from us. It has some grand old trees and a magnolia that is just finishing its blooming of pale violet and white flowers even as I write. And though this park has several different interesting large sculptures, its central fountain takes the prize. I don't know what prize that is, maybe one for serenity?  The sculpture sits in a large, lovely pool with a darling asymmetrical fall in it. Its central figure is a woman holding her knees, head bowed against them in sadness. 

Everytime I see this sculputre I think "That's exactly how I feel sometimes."

Occasionally I even think "That's how I feel now." 

I think I may eventually come to think of this city as one of impossibly lovely sadness.

I have taken a lot of pictures of this main fountain and now, over the last two days, I have made one of my sketches of it. I don't know if I've done it justice. I may even try again sometime.






















Wednesday, December 25, 2024

What to my wondering eyes should appear?

 







Waiting to glimpse Santa and his reindeer streaking across the night sky out my windows, and feeling more of a wistful sadness about all the years of the obscurity of clerkmanifesto, as opposed to a more ferocious energy and confidence in its righteousness, I thought maybe now was the time to go back, as I have been occasionally doing, and bring out one of my brief essays from the years' past. 

So I thumbed back through the vast volumes of my blog to a handful of Christmas Day posts from some time ago.


But you will note that you do not see them here.

And you wonder: "Were they bad?"

No, dear friend, not so much.

All those years ago they were lovely, and funny in their quiet strange way. To me at least, and who knows, maybe to you too. But I understood that they were they were just the sort of thing I would write if I wrote a new one now.

So why not just write a new one now?


And I lifted my weary head, and winked at the stars.





































































































Thursday, January 27, 2022

The Code

 



The first code of the library worker is that there are no library worker codes.


There are a lot of codes, secret codes when it comes to working in an institution in common with other workers. These are codes of behavior, fraternity, sorority, codes of working people, codes of looking away, and codes about how the work is really done. Maybe everyone has their own code, and where they regularly overlap among the many, there are the true codes of the workplace.

I have written many times about workers' codes at the library I work at. I have a pretty fair understanding of many of them here. But what I have been an awful long time learning is that if you touch any of these codes directly enough, they are liable to blow up in your face.