Going to Genoa!

 

After a lot of back and forth about it, we finally decided to go to Genoa, Italy for our anniversary.

We weren't sure, maybe because it sounds great but a bit skeevy.

Despite having been off on small and large trips to more than twenty cities or villages here in the south of France (and once to Monaco, and once just over the border to Ventimiglia, Italy), we do carry around a small sense of "Weren't we supposed to move to France and have all of Europe right at our fingertips?"

But at the risk of being on the one hand obvious, and on the other hand crass, Europe is big! And going places costs a lot of money! This trip going to the nearest big city in the absolute nearest country to us for a few nights is pretty reasonable, but we are old age pensioners now! Which means we could go on twenty trips a year timewise, but even modestly done those would add up to being a ton more expensive than one annual, lavish saved up trip of worker bees maximizing our precious days off.

So, there's some balance to it. And our best trick so far has been going for the low hanging fruit. Thus the day trips to everywhere interesting we can on the Cote d Azur, with an overnight here or there, scouting places to live, and even a little visit with the darling cousin and his darling dog in Montpellier.

 And now we stretch our legs just a tiny bit: Genoa.

But it's not much of a stretch being just round the coast from here. Our round trip trains for two come to about 120 euros and we can get there in a few hours.

Genoa is the type of city we never would have gone to. There would always have been something more appealing to people flying across the Atlantic. It might have caught our eye with its rich history, palaces, possible Caravaggio (its provenance is questioned) and saucy accolades of being the best rarely visited city in Italy. But still, Genoa?

And yet now it is the equivelent of our taking a nice trip to Des Moines, Iowa.

I love Des Moines. But isn't Genoa Italy more interesting and exciting than Des Moines?

Probably.

I guess we'll see.

After many fits and starts we finally booked this trip today. So I looked up some interesting things about Genoa to spark your interest:

It has a huge Medeival city center, possibly the largest in Italy. It is filled with fascinating winding streets, fecal matter, elaborate palaces, and drug addicts.

Blue jeans are from there! The very word "Jeans" comes from "Genoa"

Hmm.

That's about it.

It actually sort of reminds me of Des Moines, just a bit bigger, with more focaccia, and thousands of years older.

We'll probably manage to have some fun.

Exhausted, we rest

 

Naturally after our exciting adventure in the glamorous Cote d Azur town of St Laurent du Var, where we went to a doctor, the beach, and the mall, we resolved to take it easy today. We decided to sleep in and then lie around doing nothing all day.

But the truth is we're always a bit restless. We're often trying to do things like that, to lie about all day, or sit leisurely in cafes for the whole afternoon, or linger over happy hour for as long as the misnamed happy hours go (usually three to five hours), but I don't think we've ever managed to actually stay anywhere for more than a couple hours, and even that is from us extending our endurance through our careful frenchifying.

And so it was with sitting around today. We didn't make it. At some point we were off looking for tonic water and gluten free beer. We both wanted thread and I needed a few big needles. We had to test our bank card (it failed!) We wanted to window shop a restaurant for an anniversary possibility. I needed cashews!

So we were out there again.

The city was packed with people, mostly sticking to the shaded sidewalks. This crowdedness is nearly always true here, but a very big Jazz Fest is happening now so we might be at a peak of vacation frenzy. A lot of events in my city pretend to be really big but aren't, but I do believe this is a significant Concert Festival. Sting is at this Jazz Fest! Busta Rhymes! Lola Young! Obongjayar! So it must be big. I'm not much for massive steaming crowds and standing in the heat listening to what may sometimes only barely qualify as what I might imagine jazz is, even in an ever expanding jazz diaspora. My only interest in "JAZZ" is probably tragically stuck in the fantasy of cool smoky bars, sipping whiskeys while, I don't know, Charles Mingus plays. So you can see I'm no help to Jazz at all. But for fun I checked out some of these acts on line and would happily go watch them, albeit in a small, cool, uncrowded club, with whiskeys, and for not a lot of money.

I digress.

Although I say that like it's a problem.

It's the point.

So with that let's sign off for the day with some random photos from around town.

St Laurent du Var with bathroom pictures

 

It has been too hot to go on any real adventures here in France. I hope that hasn't taken too much of the spice out of clerkmanifesto for you. I've tried to make up for it by converting my pictures of flowers into Dr. Seuss versions for you.

I have now done this 3,748 times.

And then...

AND THEN!

We had a doctor appointment in St. Laurent du Var!

I know it's not far away, but...

1. It is an out of town adventure!

2. Maybe I could take some pictures of it and convert them to Dr. Seuss versions?

3. I'm almost certain this Dr. Seuss thing is just a phase and eventually we'll work our way through it. This may help us work our way through it!

4. It's still in the nineties mostly here so this was probably our biggest chance for advenure anytime soon.

And what an adventure!

Actually St Laurent du Var is only two train stops away from us and is not... great. More than once on this trip I thought "What a pit!" But! 

It has a large mall on a beach. 

And after we walked endlessly, half lost on pedestrian unfriendly, baking hot streets to find an eye Doctor who had mysteriously moved her office there, we finally made our way to their ratty beach on the far side of the airport from us. This beach was conveniently in front of the mall. So after the beach we went into the mall, which is always a bit like going home for us. It was also, mildly, air conditioned! We shopped in it unsuccessfully for a while, and then we had a drink that spilled over into a really nice lunch.

Oops, I think I just gave away the whole story.

Fortunately I have pictures. These pictures have naturally been Seussified, and though they are hardly comprehensive as an account of the journey, you already know the whole story of the trip, so these with a bit of commentary ought to fill you in the rest of the way.

Feast your eyes:

I did not take pictures of the more private and often ugly Doctor going part of the trip, except, there was this figure on a shelf behind the reception of the opthamologist that reminded me of Doris the Alien. So here's one for you.

We made it through the hot city to the beach. Here's my shadow on the beach:

And then from the shore this is looking back at the Cap 3000 mall.

Looking back another way from the beach was what looked to be an enchanting old hill town. I really want you to know that this is NOT indicative of the charms of St Laurent du Var. In fact, these pictures are making everything look way prettier. Though the town did look intriguing, though far away.

On the (hot) beach I saw what looked to be swans! In the ocean! I walked down towards them and found the prettiest area of the beach was closed to access because it was a bird nesting site, so I just peered in longingly.

Then I took some pictures of swans from a legal distance so as not to have my French visitor's visa voided.

We're almost at the end now. What a journey! I didn't know that you would want to see pictures of everything on this trip, so much of our mall wandering will have to go undocumented. But when we made it to "The Garden of Crepes" or "Le Jardin du Crepes" inside the mall, to have beers, it turns out, at the bar, I came to my senses and snapped off another photo of our restaurant. It gave us fond memories of The Rainforest Cafe in the Mall of America, but with better food, which we decided to eat some of after the beer.

And that's about it, except for one last thrilling surprise...

Pictures from the bathroom:

Horizontal

 

The keen-eyed among you will have noticed that at some point pretty much all pictures on clerkmanifesto began to come in a vertical format. This is not out of any particular preference on my part, but has to do with the peculiarities of how pictures get formatted here. I either have to make the images smaller than I like when they're horizontal, or they spill unfashionably over the sidebar.

But in my endless Seussification of flower photos, including some images dating back many years, I have on my hands yet again horizontal pictures.

I'd really like to show them.

I just wanted to warn you today in case this is too much of a shock. 

If you are sensitive to these things may I suggest that you lie on your side to view today's images.

Customer feedback from back when clerkmanifesto was hilarious

 

Feeling that I can't in good conscience show you Dr. Seuss style pictures of flowers yet again, but also as yet unable to do anything other than take more pictures and convert them obsessively, I thought it might be a good idea to dig into the vast clerkmanifesto archives.

I quickly found something! It is a laugh a minute riot from another era.

You're going to love this. And it has no pictures of flowers whatsoever!

It's from eight years ago which weirdly seems not that long ago and yet insanely long ago. You know how time is, as you're held in its maniacal thrall just like me.

I've lightly edited this post as it was so close to perfection I could taste it.

Now it is almost as close to perfection as it was before I edited it. Enjoy!

It is time for our annual customer feedback review. If you would be so kind as to fill out this year's Customer Feedback Survey Form we can immediately begin to make the changes to this blog that you have been longing for. Unless you think this blog is already perfect, in which case we won't have to do anything. Which would be nice, because we're really very, very tired.

So tired...

Deeply tired...

Anyway, please do fill out our form:

Clerkmanifesto Customer Feedback Survey, 2026

My number one concern with clerkmanifesto is

A. None. I think it's perfect! Or like, perfect 30 percent of the time.

B. I'm concerned with how tired you are.

C. Ho boy, concern. Plenty of concerns! Pull up a chair. But I mean it in a good way.

D. There must be some mistake. I'm supposed to be here doing the Taco Bell Customer Survey.

E. The narrow and highly particular range of options on your multiple choice surveys.

I read clerkmanifesto

A. Yes.

B. Er, will I still receive a coupon for one of Taco Bell's delicious chimichilangalaquas?

C. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY!!!!!

D. Answer "C" is making me uncomfortable.

E. Sorry I'm late. Has the survey started yet?

My favorite part of clerkmanifesto is

A. When you pretend you're joking.

B. "Favorite" is a very strong word in this context.

C. Its profound obscurity.

D. Is this clerkmanifesto? It's kind of cute. Do you have any flower pictures?

E. I'd really rather not be pinned down to a single letter choice answer. Oh, foiled again!

My least favorite part of clerkmanifesto is

A.When the hilarity dies down and I am left sadly and wistfully looking at my computer wondering painfully what it's all about.

B. The free kittens. But not so much the crippled ones. I know that doesn't speak well of me but I must answer honestly.

C. When it awkwardly inserts mentions of its corporate sponsor Taco Bell.

D. When it starts going on about how great it is, even if it totally is great, maybe the most amazing thing ever written for the Internet, a work of towering genius and a shining light in a dark world. It is a masterpiece of beauty, vision, and wisdom, and a gift, truly a gift to humanity like no other. I am ever humbled and inspired by it.

E. Yeah. Same as "D" for me. Or maybe "A", although I thought about "B" too for awhile. What was "E" again?

In conclusion I just really want you to know that

A. A customer feedback survey that is functionally impossible to fill out or submit is hardly likely to be a great font of improvement for your little blog.

B. You are undercharging for clerkmanifesto the blog, but overcharging for your wonderful (but expensive) Clerkmanifesto Tea Cosy.

C. Answer "A" is not a nice person, in case you wondered.

D. Your failure to institute any of my suggestions from your last eleven customer feedback surveys only makes me more optimistic that this one is finally gonna be it!

E. All my favorite answers were "E" up until the last one when, oh, curses! Foiled again!