Thursday, November 12, 2015

The book quote

Dear Publisher,

I have a small business proposition for you. I would like to write book quotes for your publications. I would like to be paid $500 per blurb. I can't guarantee that my quotes will be positive as that would be unethical. However, I passionately love every book that has ever been written in all of history and publishing, if that is any help to you as an indicator.

Would you like to see some of my quotes?

The most involving and moving book I have read this year. Oh, the hell with it, the most involving and wonderful and moving book I have read ever. Ever!

If I were to be granted one wish in all the Universe it would be to have the memory of reading this book erased from my mind so I could experience the astonishing thrill of reading it for the first time again.

I have never said this in any review I have ever written, but, even knowing nothing about you, you are in for an extraordinary treat. You, absolutely whoever you are. It's just that much of a treat.

"Yes, yes." You are no doubt saying, "But what is a blurb without a meaningful blurber. Are you famous? Are you Toni Morrison, Ursula K. LeGuin, Jasper Fforde, Miguel Cervantes? Most people look at blurbs anyway and think, 'Oh, it's probably a friend of the author.'  Who are you?"

Me? No, I admit I am nobody famous. However, I am just back from the courthouse, my legal name change completed.

I so hope we can work together.


Publishers Weekly

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