Sunday, December 11, 2016


When a new, petty irritation comes along to me at the library I work at I rejoice.

"Oh boy!" I cry. "I can write a blog post about this!"

Then I think "But remember, the 14% of your readers who expressed a "strong preference" for posts about petty irritations on your recent blog satisfaction survey said they only like them when they have a lot of swearing. Does this have swearing?"

Yes, it has swearing!!!!!!

"They also enjoy overreacting."

I totally overreact! I'm great at overreacting!!! I am a better overreacter than anyone ever in the history of the Universe!!!!!

So this should go just fine and everyone can relax.

I was working on the machine when a delivery man came in the back door. He was looking for a co-worker of mine, let's call her Liz. He had a pallet of something to drop off. As I opened our garage door for him I told him I could sign for it. He said that he had to go back for this missing pallet and because this co-worker, Liz, had signed for the first group, and had signed off on his coming back, she would specifically have to sign for this one as well. 

Whatever, I understand. I would go get Liz.

But just as I was heading off my manager arrived saying "I'll take care of this." Apparently some of what was in this delivery were things he had been waiting for. I told my manager the guy needed Liz's signature for this delivery in particular. As my manager waded in
with the delivery person about how all these things were going to be set in the garage, I had one of those suspicious moments. So before I went tramping off into the library to search all over for Liz I called out to the delivery person "So then, do you still need Liz's signature?"

And he casually said, gesturing to my manager "Oh, no, he can just sign for it."

"Fuck you then." I said to him. "Fuck you for wasting my time you lying piece of shit. You're an liar and an asshole and I hope you die soon."

At which point I turned my attention to more important things, like this blog.

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