Saturday, November 4, 2017

If only we could use their evil for good!

Yesterday in this space I told you my theory of elasticity. It is, even more briefly put than in my brief yesterday, a political tool used by the right in which a position at the edge of common discourse is established and then, with a ceaseless lack of compromise, inched further and further out, dragging the middle ground of the common discussion in that rightward direction.

I thought I would like to try to experiment with this technique on the side of the left. Many issues here tempt me, climate change, wealth inequality, but somewhere along the line I picked marijuana legalization. Currently the discussion is whether it should be legal for states to have highly regulated legal Marijuana, either for medical reasons or recreationally.

I start with the position that Marijuana should be legal everywhere.

The pushback to this is not worth giving voice to. Something about people who hate freedom and America.

My response to the freedom haters is they can have their martinis and firearms but I can't have a joint? All drugs should be legal; sugar, wine, mescaline, prozac, smack, and twitter.

At which point comes the inevitable outcry "But smack is dangerously addictive!"

Well, so is hypocrisy. This is why any Government job or position of being an elected official should require experience with hallucinogenics which offer helpful perspective. So now my position will roughly be that all drugs shouldn't just be legal, but in some selected cases compulsory.

At which point my opponents will be really mad, but also defensive, not offensive. So, at this point, if everything has gone according to plan, the compromised center on the issue will be something like: All drugs should be legal but carefully regulated and distributed like alcohol.

I will then consider this an outrageous bit of fascism, advocating for free joint dispensers in High Schools and Mushrooms in every movie theater and library in America.

And what will be my point to all this?

Well, eventually I won't have one. It'll just be a runaway train, and it will be beautiful.

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