We regret to inform you that
This is not a political statement against corporate public policy and Net Neutrality. This is not a drill. The Internet is closed.
There are no technical problems. Technically the Internet is working fine. Also, your computer is not broken. Don't worry about that.
The Internet is not a business. It relies upon unsolicited and random, self-posted, new and original content each day to carry on. Unfortunately today there was no new original content, and so we have had to close down.
We're pretty sure this is a fluke, and we expect to be back to normal tomorrow, though of course we can't say for sure. It depends randomly on human content, endeavor, and inspiration. We suggest you check back if you're interested.
In the meantime the Internet is closed.
We're sorry for any inconvenience this has caused. As a temporary alternative, books and nature will probably still work as normal in the meantime.
Thank you for your patience.