Tuesday, October 4, 2022

The homeopathic way to speak French


Soon we are off to the south of France!

This means that there are about 50 words of French I would like to learn so well that I practically cannot keep from saying them at any moment.

Bon Jour! Bon Soir! S'il vous plait! Un deus trois!

But what, you don't ask, is the trick of speaking this famously guttural language?

I think I have cracked the code!

It is like homeopathy.

In homeopathy one introduces an element, I guess ultimately to stimulate the patient's system, into a distilled water solution. So one might take something like arsenic oxide, mix it with water, and then reduce the proportion of the solution in water to the point where possibly not even a single molecule of arsenic oxide exists in the final medicine. I think the idea is something like the solution remembers the tiny element of arsenic oxide that was once there. Yes, it doesn't make a ton of sense medically, or even herbally, however... it is exactly how one speaks French!

Start out by saying all the letters in the French word. Then one must reduce down, getting rid of consonants first from one's pronunciation, then omitting even the vowels, until one is left with a mere kind of French grunting sound that, while technically, or audibly, not having any consonant or vowel sounds, will nevertheless hold in it the memory of all the letters that were once part of the word.

Now that I understand this I think it will be quite easy for me to communicate in French. 

Your mileage may vary.

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