Saturday, March 23, 2013

Library Talk Show Host

At the Library I sometimes find myself wrapped up in self invented extracurricular activities that seem like jokes or start as jokes, but that I start to take seriously, and talk about a lot with, well, anyone who walks by: my co workers, patrons, myself. I sometimes throw a lot of things at my workday to keep it interesting, and this would be in that category. My current obsession involves creating an internet talk show hosted by a very long time co worker of mine, the sort of person I cannot imagine being able to describe in any remotely accurate way so will merely say is a cross between a "Ward of the State" and Lyndon B. Johnson. He (let's call him "v") asks persistent, obsessive questions of his co-workers that they couldn't possibly know the answer to and that generally lies outside the area of interest of, well, anyone in the known universe. It can be difficult to come up with an example of one these strangely mundane dialogues that is so much a part of my working life, but I think I had better. 

v: "Do you think they'll serve hot dogs at this year's staff day?"
me: "No, I don't think so."
v: "Why not."
me: "They just don't usually serve hot dogs at staff day."
v: "Do they have something against hot dogs?"
me: "Not that I know of."
v: "Then why don't they serve hot dogs?"
me: "I don't know. They serve other things."
v: "You should get them to serve hot dogs."
me: "I haven't had anything to do with staff day planning for 8 years."
v: "You should talk to them."

I'll stop here. I actually meant to stop after just a line or two but it all came flooding back and a conversation with v can continue indefinitely if you don't pointedly extricate yourself from it, which is harder than it seems. Anyway v was interviewing a co worker a few weeks ago about Michelle Obama and it suddenly occurred to me that in addition to being banal and irritating there was something sort of fascinating about it, thus the talk show idea. I am not at all sure it would be fascinating, but I like the idea of it being fascinating. If I manage to make one you'll be the first to know.

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