Today is an assorted collection of notable library facts that I've made up. Did I say made up? I meant to say closely observed. Made up, huh, what was I thinking?
1. It takes 11 minutes for a sobbing child to cross from the children's room to the exit doors.
2. The unpopular books are happier than the popular books.
3. People do not come to the desk and take care of business when there is no line. This is because they are half-thinking that they will be able to go to the desk at anytime and get help with ease. However, when there is a line, they immediately join it. They feel like they better get it taken care of right away since who knows how long it all might take.
3. Reading a long string of numbers to someone at exactly the right pace is a rare skill that can neither be taught nor learned.
4. Ninety-eight percent of all patron computer problems can be solved by randomly clicking on things and soothingly muttering the string of incantational words "lower coefficient of resistance."
5. The true purpose of library books is not to be read by people, but merely to visit their homes.
6. If it's very quiet at the front desk and a patron you really like comes to see you for a chat it causes your co-worker to suddenly have to go to the bathroom.