For my birthday I received a kingly, lovely, luxurious and deliriously sweet gift of cheese. A lot of very, very nice cheese. Beautiful cheese. Happy cheese. Fat, glamorous, rippling, swirling, gleeful cheese.
I like cheese.
And I like cheese the way I like music. Blue. My wife bought me this cheese. She knows me. It is all blue.
I took it to work, where I am now living on a diet of mostly these more creamy blues, accented with a bit of bread, mixed greens, apples and coffee. It may be a tad high in saturated fats for an ideal long term diet, but I feel pretty good eating this stuff. For awhile.
Nevertheless I am faced with a quantity of cheese it may be beyond me to eat. Particularly intimidating are the two giant wedges that serve as the centerpieces of the gift; a bleu d'auvergne and a black label Cambozola. Faced with blocks of cheese that never diminish, I decided the time was ripe for me to share with, well, pretty much anyone within 50 yards of me. I put servings of the two cheeses into little cups and headed out.
The results were surprisingly mixed. About half of the people it was offered to turned it down from not liking blue cheeses. Though I have encountered this sort of thing before it still leaves me in a state of shock. Like:
"Come see! There is a beautiful Pterosaur flying into a double rainbow over our parking lot!"
"Hmm, I'm not much of a bird person, but thanks."
"Kindly aliens have arrived and are over by the entrance to the kids' room granting everyone the ability to fly!"
"I don't know. I just got a new car. You go. I'll watch the phones."
"I have some cheese. It is from France. Apellation d'origine controlee!"
"Those snobs! No thanks. Give me a nice Kraft single and I'm happy. Mmm, melted right onto a McDonald's hamburger!"
I was able to recover my composure after a bit, and I was able to pass out all my cups of cheese before I got to the public areas of the Library. I was able to override Dave's initial refusal to eat blue cheese (all credit to Dave on that one, not so much to me. I get a little carried away when it comes to cheese). I hope Dave won't mind this bit too much, but, he is something of a gourmand, and he is also still a bit young. This is what he is still in the process of learning: If someone thrusts a glass of 200 dollar a bottle champagne into your hands, a spoonful of caviar, bleu d'auvergne, you do what you can to consume it. As a Library worker, for good or ill, you will not be bombarded with these moments.