Monday, September 22, 2014

Rules for rule breaking bicyclists

Despite all my Anarchist leanings I am something of a lover of the law. It's just that I am not keen on the laws of others. I prefer to write all laws and rules for myself. I don't seem to mind writing them for other people either, which is probably safe enough as long as I have no power of enforcement.

Anyway, true to all this, I have written up this sketch of rules for rule breaking bicyclists. I try to abide by them myself, but when I don't abide by them I have another set of rules for that. And so on and so on and so on.

1. For those who do not announce "On your left" when passing:

God bless you! But I have a rule for you. If there is absolutely no way to pass, via grass or curb or daredevil jump, it would be best to say something rather than just plowing into everybody. Try not to be peevish.

2. For those who don't wear a helmet.

Good for you. No one wore helmets when I was a kid and I'm still alive to tell it. I had two biking accidents, both as a child without a helmet. In one I fell into an amazingly thorny bush. A helmet would have been no help. In the other I, uh, this is embarrassing, but, um, I hurt my penis. I think on the handlebars. It was quite a fall! Let's just say, a helmet wouldn't have helped, though a cup would have. Still, skulls bleed gobs, and bashing your head kills you just like that, so my rule for not wearing a helmet is: don't fall, which is also a good rule if you do wear a helmet. But still...

3. For those who ride their bike on the sidewalk.

Yes the sidewalk is irresistible. It is off the nasty car infested roads, and it is peacefully bordered by greenery. Who wouldn't want to ride there? But if you do, you must ever be sheepish and humble, ride over lawns and into ditches to wildly avoid the walkers that really belong there. Go slow, and always keep in mind that you are a self invited guest in someone else's house.

I've got more rules for here, aye more rules for everywhere, laws, laws, laws, but this will do for now. I still have roughly 14,000 blog posts to come up with over the course of my blog's projected forty year life. I'm not saying I'm holding back, just, each day one has to decide to draw the line somewhere.

No comments:

Post a Comment

If you were wondering, yes, you should comment. Not only does it remind me that I must write in intelligible English because someone is actually reading what I write, but it is also a pleasure for me since I am interested in anything you have to say.

I respond to pretty much every comment. It's like a free personalized blog post!

One last detail: If you are commenting on a post more than two weeks old I have to go in and approve it. It's sort of a spam protection device. Also, rarely, a comment will go to spam on its own. Give either of those a day or two and your comment will show up on the blog.