Thursday, November 20, 2014

You can only ever get halfway there

The phone rings at my library.

"Do you have a lost and found?"

"Yes." I reply.

"My daughter lost her wallet yesterday. Do you possibly have it?"

"I can check. What does it look like?"

"It's sort of thinner, and greenish. It mostly has cards in it, and some cash."

"Hold on. I'll go see."

I go see.

"I have four greenish wallets." I report back. "Pattern or no?" I ask.

"No pattern." 

We're down to three wallets.

"I'm pretty sure it had her library card in it."

"Two of the wallets have library cards." I say after a brief look through. "What's your daughter's name?"


"Ah!" I exclaim. "I have Lynette Watson's wallet right here."

"Oh, no. It's Lynette Sloan. Do you have Lynette Sloan's wallet?"

"Green, cards, no pattern, Lynette... Sloan?"


"No. We don't have her wallet."

"Okay, well, thanks for looking."

I suspect it was an elaborate prank call.


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