We have been doing such nice, homey blog posts this summer: home repair blog posts, gardening blog posts, nature walk blog posts, I am the prophet of god blog posts. It's all very Little House in the Big Woods around here. And so, in that cheerful spirit, I thought I would offer a cooking blog post. Here is a simple recipe I call:
You Will Pay for Everything That is Good Garlic Toasts
1. Soften 3/4 stick of salted organic butter by leaving it out with the gnats for awhile.
2. Peel four large cloves of garlic and slice them so thinly that you appear to be making no progress.
3. Finely grate a handsome chunk of Parmesan Reggiano.
4. Stir all of these thoroughly together, adding a hefty splash of olive oil and a dash of salt.
5. Spread mixture with measured generosity on medium thick hand cut slices of an extremely well made and very fresh sourdough type loaf. Place slices on cookie sheet(s) far from broiler. Turn on broiler.
6. Mix two parts cold press coffee, one part milk, a thick slug of agave syrup, and a liberal dose of vanilla extract. Stir.
7. Drink the cold press.
8. When you finish drinking the cold press remove your toasts from the oven. They will be perfectly done.
9. Let them cool.
10. Eat them until blood is running from multiple lacerations all across the landscape of your mouth.
11. Make a chewing error and bite with a strange, meaty crunch on your lower lip so that it will be sore and swollen for a week.
12. When wounds heal have another toast, repeating bleeding/wounding process until all the delicious toasts are gone.