Sunday, June 14, 2015
Unhemingwayesque
In my ceaseless, Ancient Mariner wanderings of the Internet (this makes you "one of three"- the whole poem is available at your local library) I came across a clever app called The Hemingway Editor, which, as far as I can tell, is specifically designed to edit one's prose so that it is as completely different from my own as is humanly possible. Coincidentally someone just donated a book of Hemingway's poems, and I opened it to read a poem, thinking that maybe I could mock it somehow, but no, it was a pretty good poem that made me think: What a terse, concise writer- who we should all model ourselves after, and surely would, if only there were a helpful app that turned all one's long, convoluted sentences peach-colored as a warning.
Which brings us very quickly back around to where there actually is such an app and I am using it now to see how poor a grade I can get on it partly because I am contrary when it comes to writing and partly because I believe firmly that there is no proper way to write; no advice, no lessons to be learned from history, no apps to help one, no rules, no wisdom, no one to emulate, nothing but a will to be understood and the vast, flailing attempts to do so, which, in the end, are all hopeless anyway.
Every sentence I have written you here on the Hemingway app is now peach colored, or mauve, or whatever their color is, and though I have not used as many adverbs as I'd like (which turn fetchingly sky blue) I am nevertheless satisfied that my lowest possible score refutes all the virtues of the Internet.
6 comments:
If you were wondering, yes, you should comment. Not only does it remind me that I must write in intelligible English because someone is actually reading what I write, but it is also a pleasure for me since I am interested in anything you have to say.
I respond to pretty much every comment. It's like a free personalized blog post!
One last detail: If you are commenting on a post more than two weeks old I have to go in and approve it. It's sort of a spam protection device. Also, rarely, a comment will go to spam on its own. Give either of those a day or two and your comment will show up on the blog.
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A tour de force of unhemingwayness!
ReplyDeleteReally? You're not just saying? You don't think it's short on adverbs?
DeleteThanks then.
hey did you know that mauve is an invented color?
ReplyDeleteAre you referring to Perkin's Mauve? I think of that as anline purple personally, or sometimes Tyrian Purple, and generally think of mauve as derived from the color of mallow. But I'm cool with the whole artificial quinine color thing which I am thinking you are referring to. Is that what you're referring to?
DeleteShould I do a blog post about mauve?
Yes I think so. A blog post is due! It was a chemist Perkins who discovered/invented it. I read about half a book about his life. It was a good book but a bit too scientific for my tastes but interesting nevertheless!
ReplyDeleteMauve: How One Man Invented a Color That Changed the World?
ReplyDeleteOddly this book appears to be by Simon and Garfunkel. Oops, no, that's Simon Garfield.