Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Who says there are no perks

Today on the automated book return, over on the drive up side, at the library, someone placed a box of doughnuts. I don't think anyone checked these doughnuts out from us. We're more of an "old school" library than we are "bakery" library.  My thought is what's the point of loaning out something whose only point is to be consumed. There is no good way to return that stuff. Returning an eaten doughnut is not pretty at all. But I am a lone voice in the wilderness and libraries all across America are now checking out things like ice, and gas, and cut flowers, such is the urge to get in on the library cutting edge.

Anyway, we got a box of doughnuts. My colleague, who was on the machine at the time, put the doughnuts on the free food table in the break room with a brief note, poorly placed: "Received in book drop".

I try not to look gift horses in the mouth, but who the hell goes around handing out horses? And what if their mouth looks funny at just a casual glance? I mean, I'm not a veterinarian, but I'm going to look at the gift horse's mouth if it's all foaming or bleeding or something, or, like, maybe if I hear the sounds of Greek whispering coming from inside said horse's mouth.

What I'm trying to say here is that these doughnuts were a prepackaged store brand type doughnut. These were mass produced, industrial doughnuts with an arm's length of ingredients I've never heard of. These were bad doughnuts! If these came through while I was on the machine I would have thrown them out so fast there wouldn't have been enough time for them to neigh!

But high quality doughnuts, from one of our top bakeries? Doughnuts of pure, organic ingredients? Fancy, exquisite, four dollars a doughnut doughnuts? Yes, I have to admit it, it may be a bit of a weakness, you could have sneaked anything you wanted into the library, or into my stomach, through those.

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