Blog sick leave form

I am not sick. I feel fine. But I have lately been putting together a series of easy to fill out form letters for various of my regular writing activities, like apologizing formally to co-workers, berating customer service departments, and writing blog posts. I thought it would be nice to have a form letter for my blog specifically for when I'm not feeling well. So today I have written just such a form letter for me to fill out when I am sick and in need of a quick, easy to write, blog post. I am sharing it with you now for free, because paying you to read it would be undignified and could get kind of expensive.


                                                   Too sick to blog form


Alas, but I am

___ Sick,
___ Injured,
___ Dealing with a family crisis,
___ Dead,

but 

___ Fear not,
___ Despite things looking amazingly bleak,
___ With amazing personal heroism, 

I am still managing to eek out the daily blog post you so richly deserve. 

To be more specific about my current condition, I am

___ Probably not going to make it.
___ Miserable, but it will pass.
___ Totally faking it so I can stay home from work.

I guess what happened is

___ I should have known prawns don't come in a chartreuse color.
___ I am 107 years old for gods sake!
___ With care I can probably avoid drunk drivers, but no one on earth is safe from cell phone drivers!
___ Who am I again?

But don't worry, I should be back on my feet

___ In no time,
___ In two to four weeks according to my Doctor.
___ Eventually, theoretically.
___ Er, yes, I sure loved my feet while I had them. If I could say one thing to my readers out there, it's appreciate your feet while you have them.

No matter how things are for me I'll be hanging in as best I can with the blog, though you may find the posts for the next little while to be

___ Quite short.
___ Eerily similar to this post.
___ A tad weepy.

I want to thank everyone for their 

___ Kind thoughts.
___ Frightening casseroles.
___ Weird pharmaceuticals. 

I am eagerly looking forward to putting this difficult time behind me and getting back to

___ Regular life.
___ My vengeful schemes.
___ Wacky library blogging.
___ Who am I again?