Friday, July 17, 2015
Letter of apology
As some of my friends will know, I am a very busy person these days and have found the form letter to be an efficient means of communication. There's nothing like settling down to write a long personal letter and needing merely to check a few boxes and fill in a few short blank spaces to be on my way to the post office. So now, whenever I find myself engaged in other bulk writing activities, like sending fan mail, posting angry comments on the Internet, or demanding justice from companies I have transacted business with, I think, hey, couldn't I have a form letter for this?
Usually I can!
Naturally you are eager to see one of these useful form letters. Maybe you can even use it for yourself. I am happy to oblige.
But first a little background.
Overworked, desperately in need of vacation, angry at the summer heat, at management and at major system breakdowns at my workplace, I have been frightfully snappish to my co-workers. I have had to repeatedly apologize for my churlish behavior. Naturally all these apologies are tiresome and just make me more irritable, creating a vicious circle.
Then I remembered the great virtues of form letters. After dashing out the following "Apology at Work" letter, my problems at work, while not solved, are at least more manageable.
You are one of my
___ Most Solid
___ Most Ancient
co-workers, and I bitterly regret that I
___ Yelled at
___ Spoke harshly to
___ Broke down weeping in front of
you. I'm afraid that
___ Stresses at work
___ Stresses at home
have pushed me over the edge. But that is no reason for me not remaining
___ Begrudgingly tolerant.
___ Properly disinterested in everything around me.
My disagreeable behavior was
___ Not your fault.
___ Other peoples' fault, and they are really the ones who should be apologizing.
___ Your fault, but I'm apologizing due to legal requirements.
I assure you my conduct will be
___ The same because I have this handy apology form letter
in the future, and I deeply regret any
___ Feelings of righteousness
I have caused you.
___ Nominal superior by virtue of seniority,