Sunday, July 12, 2015

Seven quotes against God

As the only blogger, indeed as the only writer, and furthermore as the only theologian currently working in protest against god I cannot help my growing sense that I am in at the ground floor. As catastrophic climate change reaps death through the world and resurgent religious fundamentalism plays out its bloody hand I think the idea that this is all sort of god's fault is going to catch on big time. But so far it's just me. I have a monopoly on nothing. But what a good time to get in cheap! Buy low and sell high they say. So I thought I'd better start making my mark on all this valueless real estate so that eventually, when everyone wants a piece of it, they'll find my initials are all over it already.

In that spirit I am going to set down some precepts here in clerkmanifesto. I am thus serving notice of ownership on the following concepts and quips:

1. It's not blasphemy if it's accurate.

2. What is commonly understood as taking God's name in vain is mere redundancy.

3. "Free Will" is a theological concept meaning "Whoops!".

4. There is a god, but no devil, the position already being taken.

5. God is a democracy with only one candidate and no option to abstain.

6. God has a wise, secret plan, but forgot it.

7. We all work for God, but no one is paid.


  1. Hey there, holy one! Its me, Pope Peaches.Yes I'm getting this all down and putting it in my next encyclical. ^_^

    1. Okay then, let's see a little word spreading action Pope Peaches!

      Or not, if you don't feel like it.

  2. Well... I did repost your glorious essay on FB and my distant cousin, who is a preacher, reposted it on her page. Ummm.. I'm doing my best.

    1. Hmmm. Going on past popes, Pope Peaches, that level of prostelytization now earns you the right to hire seven artistic geniuses to paint ceilings for you for two years.

      I mean, if you want your ceilings painted.

      That was nice of you!

  3. Bernini-esque butter angels on the bridges over the Mississippi in time for the Minnesota State Fair?! I'm on it!

    1. I like where you're going with this but worry about all the melting...


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