Friday, November 13, 2015

The seven stages to acceptance

It can be a long, hard road to accepting your new co-worker. Take heart! I have compiled a list of the seven stages of acceptance of the new employee. This list will let you know where you are at any time during the slow, arduous process of bringing your new co-worker into the bosom of your work family.

Stage 1.  

Who is that person? I should probably tell them this is a staff only area.

Stage 2.

Mildly awkward introduction where you try to pretend this random person won't have a notable impact on your life, followed immediately by the ceremonial forgetting of their name.

Stage 3.

Bizarre moment of intuition wherein, based on absolutely nothing, you understand the horrible, fatal character flaw of your new co-worker.

Stage 4.

The era of irritation wherein you have to grit your teeth a lot and figure out subtle methods to correct your delicate newbie so that they don't self destruct.

Stage 5.

The coming together moment where your co-worker looks to be getting the basics, and you berate yourself for your cruel, judgmental, and prejudicial first impressions that turn out to have been wrong.

Stage 6.

The time when you realize that, no, it turns out your original, horrible intuition was uncannily, unerringly accurate, but what the hell.

Stage 7.

The final stage. This is the time when it feels like you have always worked with your new co-worker and are genuinely surprised when they have no recollection of work events from 14 years ago.

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