Sunday, February 7, 2016
Presidential Interview: Religious issues
MSM: You have been on the record as saying that you were told by God to run for President?
F. Calypso: Well, yes, that is so. I was told by a god to run for President wherein it was prophesized that I would lose, acquiring zero votes.
MSM: God told you to run for President wherein you would receive no votes?
F. Calypso: Yes, amazing, isn't it?
F. Calypso: Do you think I will get any votes?
MSM: That's really not the subject of this...
F. Calypso: It's a simple question. Will I get any votes for President?
MSM: Okay. No. I don't think you'll get any votes.
F. Calypso: So you agree that this god has prophesized the future! That's a god worth listening to.
MSM: If I predicted it would be sunny today, and it turns out it's sunny, that doesn't make me a prophet.
F. Calypso: Did you, in fact, yesterday predict it would be sunny today?
MSM: As a curious matter of fact, yes, yesterday I did say that I understood it was supposed to be sunny today.
F. Calypso: Wow!
MSM: No, that's my...
F. Calypso: I am enmeshed in a thrilling web of prophecies! Tell me what to do next!
MSM: No! That's not, I'm not God.
F. Calypso: Well of course not. No one is God.
MSM: I'm glad we...
F. Calypso: You're obviously a god though. What do I do next? Do you have any lotto tips?
MSM: I'm not a god! Look, what if I voted for you? Wouldn't that make the prophecy false and call your campaign into question?
F. Calypso: It would have actually had to have happened, which it hasn't, oh god of... something.
MSM: Fine, I'm voting for you. Just wait and see.
F. Calypso: Yeah, that's how all these interviews seem to end up.