Sunday, April 24, 2016

One liners

I found a collection of one-liners that struck me as so amusing that I jotted them down on one of the hundreds of scraps of paper I carry in my jean pockets. Then, as there wasn't much else to do with them, I shared them out with various of my co-workers and with an occasional lucky library patron as well.

I started with:

A friend told me I've been acting too much like a flamingo, so I put my foot down.

I like that one even if somehow it's not quite perfect, and I keep wanting to try and edit it. People laughed though.

 No one got this one, and maybe you or I wouldn't either if we were hearing it instead of reading it:

I, for one, like roman numerals.

but either way it's frightfully clever. 

I was also fond of:

Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.

which just goes deeper as you think of it.

But there was one of these one-liners that I'd written down and just kind of held onto. There was something a touch uncomfortable about it, and I didn't want to say it. But maybe because of that I ended up having to try it out to see how it felt:

People say I'm condescending, (leaning in) that means I talk down to people.

Perhaps it was just a tiny bit too close to home. One doesn't want people to think 

"Yeah, I can see that." 

Ah well...

They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian;  Well they're not laughing now!


  1. What if Soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish.

  2. Ha! Nice addition!

    I would never want to join any club that would accept me as a member> Groucho.

    I liked the roman numeral one because it's also visual.

  3. A classic of course! Putting one in mind of:

    I have an inferiority complex, but it's not a very good one.

    I may prefer Groucho's nearly as famous, and ever so importantly library related:

    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend, inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

  4. Parallel lines have so much in common but it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

  5. Oh, I know how I want to fix it:

    My friend nagged me so much about acting too much like a flamingo that I finally had to put my foot down.



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