Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Dressed for success

I dressed to the nines this morning.The origin of this phrase is uncertain, but I've decided it means I am dressed nine times better than I usually dress. I have assembled an almost entirely Italian ensemble. Sleek black jeans and a black button down shirt cut in a European style, both from a department store on Via Del Corso in Rome that my wife and I only went to out of the curiosity of seeing so many people walking around in possession of their bags. My deep pumpkin jacket, made from a form fitting stretch felt material, must remain always buttoned and is best complimented by its accompanying long, dashing, gray cashmere scarf. These were bought in a small, corner shop in the Spanish Steps neighborhood where they dressed me with old world attention. Let me tell you, I cut quite the figure. I am a dandy. And all the rooster glory of myself dressed like this is heightened by my set up: I can go months here at the library I work at dressed sort of like a hobo. It's that instability that primes the public for the sheer drama of my appearance.

"You look nice today." They say.

"Yes, I am the Clown Prince of the library." I think. 

But what I say is:

"Yes, I am the Clown Prince of the library."

It's good to say what you think, don't you think?

After an hour I am getting very hot. These are some warm wool clothes.

"I can't do much work today because I am just here to look beautiful." I say to no one in particular, because at that point I am scheduled on the automated check in machine where I am alone with my beauty.

But curiously I can sometimes be as bad at not working as I can be at working. In less than three hours I have become so hot that I've hung up my coat and scarf and am back to looking relatively normal. Who needs normal? Well, me I guess, if I want to stop sweating. However an hour from now I'll be on the front desk again, and I might reassemble my ensemble.

"Ooooh! Go to the front desk for help." The patrons will say. "It's like being assisted by a magical exotic bird."

Well, they might not say it, but they'll think it, which is a start.


  1. Many, many, many years I ago I witnessed one of these days of formal attire and when I asked what was the occasion you said, "I like to keep people on their toes." Or something like that. Of course, I thought that was funny.

    1. I've added to the routine walking around all day complaining about my co-workers slovenly dress, and talk a lot about how we need to "class this place up"


If you were wondering, yes, you should comment. Not only does it remind me that I must write in intelligible English because someone is actually reading what I write, but it is also a pleasure for me since I am interested in anything you have to say.

I respond to pretty much every comment. It's like a free personalized blog post!

One last detail: If you are commenting on a post more than two weeks old I have to go in and approve it. It's sort of a spam protection device. Also, rarely, a comment will go to spam on its own. Give either of those a day or two and your comment will show up on the blog.