Sunday, December 10, 2017
A phone play
This is a basically accurate phone transcript, as far as I can remember, with the usual moving around of names to protect the barest conceit that I never actually name the library I work at. It is a subtle rumination on the mysteries of human nature and is suitable for advanced acting classes.
Me: Good afternoon, Lilytown Library.
Patron: Hi. Is this the Lilytown Library?
Me: Yes, this is the Lilytown Library.
Patron: I have a meeting at your library at ten in the morning, but will be getting there at 9:15. I know you don't open until ten, but what time does your lobby open? Can I wait there?
Me: I'm not here much in the mornings. We do open the lobby early, but let me check what time that generally happens. Hang on.
(I go consult with people who know. There is lots of discussion about exceptions and who is asking but the upshot is that the lobby opens at 9:30, and we should just go with that.)
Me: Thanks for holding. The lobby doesn't open until 9:30, but you could wait in the coffee shop which will be open.
Patron: Oh. Okay. So is the Lilytown Library the same place as the Water City Library? It says here that my meeting is at the Water City Library.
Me: No. The Water City Library is a different library in our system. Would you like their number?
Patron: So the Lilytown Library isn't the Water City Library?
Me: No. Sorry. It's not.
Patron: Hmm. Do you have their number?