In which I offer my best deal ever in order to save the holiday season for everyone!
Around this time of year there are many people who have to come up with gifts. Sure, it's not everyone, but even those people who don't have to come up with even one gift can get infected by the feeling in the air and the lure of delivery trucks dropping off boxes all around them. As we reach a day like today, December 23, there is a fever pitch of gift needing that roars like a wildfire through the Internet.
But there is a problem. It is now likely too late to receive any gifts we order in the mail soon enough. And everyone is broke. And how are we supposed to know what to get for anyone anyway.
This is where I step in to save the day.
I am offering my best deal of the year!
Better than Black Friday!
Better than Small Business Saturday!
Better than Cyber Monday!
And even better than Bullshit Sale Wednesday!
I have never offered a discount like this!
You think it too good to be true? Read my FAQ and think again. Your ship has just come in!
Q. Wait, do I get a ship?
A. No, that is a turn of phrase.
Q. I knew it! It's all a trick!
A. No no, just the part about ships is. Clerkmanifesto is genuinely free for a year with no further obligation as my gift to you and yours!
Q. How can you afford to do this?
A. Ha ha ha. My accountant assures me I cannot!
Q. Right, so how can you afford to do this?
A. I fired my accountant! The $82,000 I save in his salary should see me through.
Q. I'm not sure it works like that.
A. I'm afraid that needs to be in the form of a question.
Q. What is "I'm not sure it works like that"?
Q. and A. both: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Q. So reading this particular episode of Clerkmanifesto I am finding it to be something of an acquired taste, one which I haven't exactly acquired yet. Who enjoys Clerkmanifesto?
A. Oh loads of people!
Q. What is "loads of people"?
Q. Free is a pretty good price, but is this like the usual blog on the Internet? Will you post three times in a week, then nothing for two months, then two posts in rapid succession, then nothing for infinity years?
A. No, I have posted daily for almost five years. You will receive 365 posts doled out early every afternoon like a drip feed. Drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip...
Q. I get it!
A. Drip, drip, drip...
Q. I get it. Are some of them better than others?
A. Sometimes they are. And then sometimes they aren't.
Q. Okay then, I'm game. I'd like one for myself and eight to give to each of my eight cousins. How do I get my year passes?
A. I'm sorry, I can't tell you. I promised myself I wouldn't market my blog. But I'm touched by your interest.