Sunday, December 24, 2017

Library shirt

Awhile ago my wife and I were buying some library/book themed t-shirts. I decided to go for the one that's a series of large, roughly stamped sequential dates, you know, old-school due date stamps. Not only did I consider this vaguely legal for my library job dress code, but also an amusing conversation piece, especially with us all being in a library.

I was wrong.

While I appreciated this shirt for not hitting anyone over the head with its obviousness, I hardly considered it subtle. In the context of where I would be wearing such a shirt, combined with the authentic feel of its design, I certainly didn't expect people not to get it.

But many, aye even most, did not.

"Are those dates significant somehow?" Many a confused query went.

"No," I replied, demonstrating by pointing pointlessly at the shirt they were already looking at "They're, you know, like library due dates."

"Oh." They said emotionlessly and suddenly keen to get to work, then they went somewhere else.

"Well," I thought "That must be a weird blip on their part. It certainly won't happen when so and so sees it. They'll think it's hilarious!"

"What's with all the dates?" So and so asks when I show them my shirt.

"They're meant to be library due dates, like from an old due date card."

"Huh." They say. "Well it's confusing because they're dates."

This sort of thing happened all day. Is this the general level of understanding my co-workers operate at? How have I never noticed this before?

It was a sad day.

After washing it I put the shirt at the back of all my t-shirts on my shirts shelf.

I didn't wear the shirt again for a long time.

Then today I reached back there and pulled out this shirt.


I put it on. Apparently the pain had faded just enough for me to try again. After all it is Holiday Potluck Day today at the library.

And then I reflected upon what had happened last time I wore the shirt and suddenly the light dawned:

The were all just trolling me!

Ha ha ha, they were messing with me! They were just joking!

I hope. God, I hope.

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