Monday, February 5, 2018


As you read this the Super Bowl is over and one of the teams won. Hopefully the good and pure team won, while the team full of evil, bad people lost. But as I write it is Superbowl Sunday! In fact the Superbowl is taking place this very day in my own city! It is terribly exciting! I drove by the Superbowl Stadium just minutes ago on my way to work! I said to myself "In, like, six hours the Superbowl will be played in that very stadium!"

And then at that point I had used up my allotment of exclamation points for the month and had to stop caring.

It was pretty easy to stop caring because Superbowl Stadium Minneapolis looked exactly like it usually does when nothing whatsoever is going on there. Also the roads were emptier than usual. The city is blasted by cold and by the grimy dirt that comes with waves of snows and plows and salt and driving and Winter. The only things even indicating the upcoming Superbowl were a few already exhausted looking banners on freewayside buildings and one lone plane with a small, unreadable banner circling pathetically through the gouts of winter steams.

Also aren't there far more important things than this ridiculous Superbowl that doesn't even include the local team? For instance the Barcelona Football Club had a game today! Now that's Football!! Messi!!!!! Iniesta! Umtiti! Suaaaaarezzzz!!!!

Exclamation points? Oh. No. We don't ration exclamation points for Barcelona.


  1. Reading about football makes me wistful. For most of my life it was at the very center of my formidable masculinity. Then my son grew and i knew i did not want him running around bashing his head in so i could watch and prop up my aging libido with his injuries. My journey as a father has been fraught in this way.
    You may be pleased to know that my handsome Thunder does excel at soccer. It is a nice enough sport, and in general the players are much better looking. Meh'

  2. Yes, he has a luxurious grey coat. I sent you pictures.

    1. Ohhhhh, him! Yes, he looks like he'd be good at soccer, and he does seem handsome enough for it.


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