Thursday, May 31, 2018

A puzzle for you!







Stickied Introduction:


In order to prepare for a two week trip with my lovely wife to Rome it is necessary for me to write 20 blog posts ahead of time. I don't have a lot of time to do this. I'm not sure I actually have any time to do this. But I have made a sacred charter, somewhere, I think, that says I must post a new blog post everyday. So I wanted to put a stickied explanation of the desperation of my plight at the top of each of my next twenty blog posts.

I am hoping this will explain why my comments might be (checked (X) as appropriate):


__ Brief

__ Incoherent

xx First drafts

xx Silly

xx Unfinished

__ Borderline plagiarized from someone else

__ Borderline plagiarized from myself

__ Petty about the Internet

xx Pandering to the reader

__ Technically illegal in the country of Turkey

__ Ending abruptly

__ Too frank by half

__ Pretty much just the lyrics of some song I like

__ Actually a lot like any of my regular blog posts



This particular post is:


16 of 20



End of Stickied Introduction





Yes, I admit it. Things are getting a bit desperate. The plane leaves in mere minutes, 3,254 minutes as far as I can tell, but I have dozens of other things to do in that time besides writing these last five posts. So I checked four random boxes on my list above to help guide me along as I write here:

1. First draft

Okay, I promise I wont read ofer this and fix antything. Youll just have to trust me here!@


2. Silly

Sorry, I'm incapable of siiliness. I'm sure a gracious and perceptive reader such as yourself will easily forgive a minor transgression such as this small one.


3. Pandering to the reader.

I planned ahead.









Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Not my favorite walk







Stickied Introduction:


In order to prepare for a two week trip with my lovely wife to Rome it is necessary for me to write 20 blog posts ahead of time. I don't have a lot of time to do this. I'm not sure I actually have any time to do this. But I have made a sacred charter, somewhere, I think, that says I must post a new blog post everyday. So I wanted to put a stickied explanation of the desperation of my plight at the top of each of my next twenty blog posts.

I am hoping this will explain why my comments might be (checked (X) as appropriate):


__ Brief

__ Incoherent

__ First drafts

__ Silly

__ Unfinished

xx In a foul mood due to writing too many blog posts

__ Borderline plagiarized from someone else

__ Borderline plagiarized from myself

__ Petty about the Internet

__ Pandering to the reader

__ Technically illegal in the country of Turkey

__ Ending abruptly

__ Too frank by half

xx Pretty much just the lyrics of some song I like

__ Actually a lot like any of my regular blog posts



This particular post is:


15 of 20


End of Stickied Introduction




Oh man, is it ever beautiful out this evening. I went for a walk and the whole neighborhood was out. It smelled of flowers. The dogs were off their leashes, tails wagging. Multi-generational families gathered on the sidewalks. Bikes outnumbered cars. People barbecued chickens and pleasant breezes wafted the news. Bunnies scampered without fear and scarlet birds preened themselves in the freedom of Spring.

I didn't like it.

I just wanted to walk and think about why I was in a bad mood, but I couldn't concentrate. People sitting on their porches listening to What a Wonderful World on cheap old portable tape players kept waving and smiling at me. I don't want to nod a greeting. Do I have to nod a greeting? After all, I wandered into the street to get as far away from them and their children and their dogs and their smiles as possible.


The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do...


Oh, whatever.








Tuesday, May 29, 2018

All miracles are simple.







Stickied Introduction:


In order to prepare for a two week trip with my lovely wife to Rome it is necessary for me to write 20 blog posts ahead of time. I don't have a lot of time to do this. I'm not sure I actually have any time to do this. But I have made a sacred charter, somewhere, I think, that says I must post a new blog post everyday. So I wanted to put a stickied explanation of the desperation of my plight at the top of each of my next twenty blog posts.

I am hoping this will explain why my comments might be (checked (X) as appropriate):


__ Brief

__ Incoherent

xx First drafts

__ Silly

__ Unfinished

__ Borderline plagiarized from someone else

__ Borderline plagiarized from myself

xx Petty about the Internet

__ Pandering to the reader

__ Technically illegal in the country of Turkey

__ Self aggrandizing

__ Ending abruptly

__ Too frank by half

__ Pretty much just the lyrics of some song I like

__ Actually a lot like any of my regular blog posts



This particular post is:


Still only 14 of 20


End of Stickied Introduction



I think due to some math errors I've been stuck on 14 of 20 for, like, three blog posts. But I'm not complaining about this pace, or the difficulty of writing twenty some posts in a few brief days where I'm very busy with a lot of other things. I'm not complaining about writing, which is pretty entertaining, or about the challenge of writing when you can't think of anything to write about and don't have time to think of anything to write about. I'm not complaining about the sinking feeling I get when I send yet another lonely little blog post, like a new Kindergartner, out onto the vast, sad, and coldhearted Internet. I'm not complaining about how late it is, or about how I actually have no idea how I'll squeeze in those precious last six blog posts I have to write before we fly off to Rome.

Because...

I get to go with my wife to Rome again, the pretty little town at the center, jammed and sleepy, pastel and glowing, and full of wonders as mundane as the sky above. 










Monday, May 28, 2018

Punk library







Stickied Introduction:


In order to prepare for a two week trip with my lovely wife to Rome it is necessary for me to write 20 blog posts ahead of time. I don't have a lot of time to do this. I'm not sure I actually have any time to do this. But I have made a sacred charter, somewhere, I think, that says I must post a new blog post everyday. So I wanted to put a stickied explanation of the desperation of my plight at the top of each of my next twenty blog posts.

I am hoping this will explain why my comments might be (checked (X) as appropriate):


xx Brief

__ Incoherent

__ First drafts

__ Silly

__ Unfinished

__ Borderline plagiarized from someone else

__ Borderline plagiarized from myself

__ Petty about the Internet

__ Pandering to the reader

__ Technically illegal in the country of Turkey

__ Ending abruptly

xx Too frank by half

__ Pretty much just the lyrics of some song I like

xx Actually a lot like any of my regular blog posts



This particular post is:


14? of 20


End of Stickied Introduction







Hi, welcome to the library. You'd like a nice Jodi Picoult book? James Patterson? Nicholas fucking Sparks? Sorry, no.

We've been pandering for far too long around here. Do you know how many stupid books by these stupid authors we buy? I don't know. Do I look like the statistical compendium of library bullshit?

The libraries have all gone soft. You want a book to read, a CD? You want a movie? Come to the front desk and I will give you one. It will be good for a change. I'm a professional.









Sunday, May 27, 2018

Loop holes







Stickied Introduction:


In order to prepare for a two week trip with my lovely wife to Rome it is necessary for me to write 20 blog posts ahead of time. I don't have a lot of time to do this. I'm not sure I actually have any time to do this. But I have made a sacred charter, somewhere, I think, that says I must post a new blog post everyday. So I wanted to put a stickied explanation of the desperation of my plight at the top of each of my next twenty blog posts.

I am hoping this will explain why my comments might be (checked (X) as appropriate):


__ Brief

__ Incoherent

__ First drafts

__ Silly

__ Unfinished

__ Borderline plagiarized from someone else

__ Borderline plagiarized from myself

__ Petty about the Internet

__ Pandering to the reader

__ Technically illegal in the country of Turkey

__ Ending abruptly

__ Too frank by half

__ Pretty much just the lyrics of some song I like

xx Actually a lot like any of my regular blog posts



This particular post is:


12ish of 20


End of Stickied Introduction



I am very nice to people where I work at the library, usually. But when people ask me to do irksome things for them without the proper humility and obeisance I seek to impede them with the tools at my disposal. 

And so to today's case in point. A woman comes in with donations piled high in bags on an awkward little trolley. At first it is unclear these are all donations, but sadly they are. And she wants back all the cloth bags the books are packed in.


This is the first strike against her. I could bear this, though I don't like it. I have her wheel these bags of books back to our book donation shelves, and I start emptying her bags. And the donations are just pure junk; textbooks, binder books from expensive corporate seminars circa 1986, pamphlets. Just about then she explains how she'd like a receipt for the person she's donating these for.

This includes two strikes. One, I don't like when people do things for friends when they're pointless things like donating useless garbage to a library. This was the responsibility of the favor doer to stop. And two, I'm ethically opposed to donation receipts, though normally I can't do anything about them.

This was three strikes. My ship had come in!

"I'm sorry." I said. "We can't take textbooks." This, according to me, included all but four crappy books that are sitting over on our donation shelves even now as I write. I dutifully filled out a donation receipt that said "4 hardcover books" on it. I was real nice to the lady about it.

She was pretty nice about it too.







Saturday, May 26, 2018

Possible assertion of my priorities







Stickied Introduction:


In order to prepare for a two week trip with my lovely wife to Rome it is necessary for me to write 20 blog posts ahead of time. I don't have a lot of time to do this. I'm not sure I actually have any time to do this. But I have made a sacred charter, somewhere, I think, that says I must post a new blog post everyday. So I wanted to put a stickied explanation of the desperation of my plight at the top of each of my next twenty blog posts.

I am hoping this will explain why my comments might be (checked (X) as appropriate):


xx Brief

__ Incoherent

xx First drafts

xx Silly

__ Unfinished

xx Borderline plagiarized from someone else

__ Borderline plagiarized from myself

__ Petty about the Internet

__ Pandering to the reader

__ Technically illegal in the country of Turkey

__ Ending abruptly

__ Too frank by half

__ Pretty much just the lyrics of some song I like

__ Actually a lot like any of my regular blog posts



This particular post is:


010 of 20


End of Stickied Introduction



I wasn't at all panicked about having to write all these posts in a couple of hours until I actually started writing them. In my imagination they were all going to sort of magically appear, pretty much like they do for you.

Then I started freaking out a little. But now that I have finally made some progress here I am starting to calm down again. I have an hour or so to bear down here and conc... 

ohh! Soccer game! Gotta go!






Friday, May 25, 2018

Quote by Plato







Stickied Introduction:


In order to prepare for a two week trip with my lovely wife to Rome it is necessary for me to write 20 blog posts ahead of time. I don't have a lot of time to do this. I'm not sure I actually have any time to do this. But I have made a sacred charter, somewhere, I think, that says I must post a new blog post everyday. So I wanted to put a stickied explanation of the desperation of my plight at the top of each of my next twenty blog posts.

I am hoping this will explain why my comments might be (checked (X) as appropriate):


xx Brief

__ Incoherent

__ First drafts

xx Silly

__ Unfinished

xx Borderline plagiarized from someone else

__ Borderline plagiarized from myself

__ Petty about the Internet

__ Pandering to the reader

__ Technically illegal in the country of Turkey

__ Ending abruptly

xx Too frank by half

__ Pretty much just the lyrics of some song I like

__ Actually a lot like any of my regular blog posts



This particular post is:


02 of 20


End of Stickied Introduction




I came across this great quote for our era the other day. In trying to find it today I was thinking it was by Aldous Huxley for some reason. No, it was by Plato. Anyway, it went thusly:


The price of apathy towards public affairs is to be ruled by evil men.

Which explains an awful lot about our world right now, but then, who cares.











Thursday, May 24, 2018

Not really our flight plan







Stickied Introduction:


In order to prepare for a two week trip with my lovely wife to Rome it is necessary for me to write 20 blog posts ahead of time. I don't have a lot of time to do this. I'm not sure I actually have any time to do this. But I have made a sacred charter, somewhere, I think, that says I must post a new blog post everyday. So I wanted to put a stickied explanation of the desperation of my plight at the top of each of my next twenty blog posts.

I am hoping this will explain why my comments might be (checked (X) as appropriate):


__ Brief

__ Incoherent

xx First drafts

xx Silly

__ Unfinished

__ Borderline plagiarized from someone else

__ Borderline plagiarized from myself

__ Petty about the Internet

__ Pandering to the reader

__ Technically illegal in the country of Turkey

__ Ending abruptly

__ Too frank by half

__ Pretty much just the lyrics of some song I like

__ Actually a lot like any of my regular blog posts



This particular post is:


07 of 20


End of Stickied Introduction




Because I am working right up to the moment I leave for Rome there is a great deal of discussion about it from my co-workers. This usually starts right when I arrive at work and almost everyone looks at me with surprise and says "I thought you were in Rome."

To which I scathingly reply "Um, no. I'm here today. I leave Tuesday."

Burn!

Ouch!

"So, uh, do you have a direct flight?" They ask.

"Almost." I reply. "We go through Chicago and catch a short flight over to Champagne-Urbana where we get a flight to St. Louis. From there we bus over to Kansas City and catch our plane to New Jersey. That connects us to London, on a Jumbo Jet!, then a hop to Naples and one more flight and, voila, we are in Rome."

They might think that was funny if it didn't take me so long to say it.









Wednesday, May 23, 2018

A birthday







Stickied Introduction:


In order to prepare for a two week trip with my lovely wife to Rome it is necessary for me to write 20 blog posts ahead of time. I don't have a lot of time to do this. I'm not sure I actually have any time to do this. But I have made a sacred charter, somewhere, I think, that says I must post a new blog post everyday. So I wanted to put a stickied explanation of the desperation of my plight at the top of each of my next twenty blog posts.

I am hoping this will explain why my comments might be (checked (X) as appropriate):


__ Brief

__ Incoherent

__ First drafts

__ Silly

__ Unfinished

__ Borderline plagiarized from someone else

xx Borderline plagiarized from myself

__ Petty about the Internet

__ Pandering to the reader

__ Technically illegal in the country of Turkey

__ Ending abruptly

__ Too frank by half

__ Pretty much just the lyrics of some song I like

__ Actually a lot like any of my regular blog posts



This particular post is:


02 of 20


End of Stickied Introduction



One of my original plans for what to do about going to Rome for two weeks, and how to keep up on my blog for that time, was that I would run repeats. I decided against it as a slight violation of my terms.

But today as I write is May 12. This will be posted up on May 23. I feel confident that I will be happy on May 23. And I found this, from my archives, that explains why. 

I hope fate will not be tempted.











It may not be the most pithy quote, or the deepest, but for the sheer Beatles level popularity and ubiquity of it there may be no quote that beats

'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

While rivaled, surely there is no more gigantic quote.


This morning I was thinking about it. I assumed it must be by Shakespeare or something. And I was right! It is by or something.

I love getting things right.

The line is from a long poem, In Memoriam A. H. H. OBIIT MDCCCXXXIII by Lord Alfred Tennyson. I didn't know about all that, specifically, or at all, but I do know now, and I would rather look forward than dwell on the always less informed versions of my former self.

You might as well have the whole passage that concludes with these enduring lines because, though they're a bit of work, they fill it out nicely, though they don't change it at all in its basic meaning, in case you were worried.

I envy not in any moods
         The captive void of noble rage,
         The linnet born within the cage,
That never knew the summer woods:

I envy not the beast that takes
         His license in the field of time,
         Unfetter'd by the sense of crime,
To whom a conscience never wakes;

Nor, what may count itself as blest,
         The heart that never plighted troth
         But stagnates in the weeds of sloth;
Nor any want-begotten rest.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
         I feel it, when I sorrow most;
         'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all. 

Perhaps some small part of this quote's mighty success is that it barely exceeds saying nothing. It may as well be saying that it is better to live and die than to just be dead. It is worth the loss of anything to have something.

But despite the claims of an occasional bumper sticker of a lesser quote, love is not life. Love is better. Life fights death to a draw. But love alone triumphs over death, even as death has the last word. And that is Tennyson's claim and his genius.
  
I am never terribly fond of the device in books and movies where the impediment to a romance is one person's fear of loss. After all, 'tis better to have loved and lost than
 never to have loved at all. But I understand it. Nothing terrifies me more than the loss of the one I love. I am sure I could not bear it. I am certain it would break me, mangle me, diminish me. It would destroy me. But like Tennyson I can look darkness in the eye. It will have its sickening victory, but I, I have won forever.





















Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Good times just around the corner







Stickied Introduction:


In order to prepare for a two week trip with my lovely wife to Rome it is necessary for me to write 20 blog posts ahead of time. I don't have a lot of time to do this. I'm not sure I actually have any time to do this. But I have made a sacred charter, somewhere, I think, that says I must post a new blog post everyday. So I wanted to put a stickied explanation of the desperation of my plight at the top of each of my next twenty blog posts.

I am hoping this will explain why my comments might be (checked (X) as appropriate):


xx Brief

__ Incoherent

__ First drafts

__ Silly

xx Math errors

__ Borderline plagiarized from someone else

__ Borderline plagiarized from myself

__ Petty about the Internet

__ Pandering to the reader

__ Technically illegal in the country of Turkey

__ Ending abruptly

xx A surfeit of self-aggrandizement

__ Too frank by half

__ Pretty much just the lyrics of some song I like

xx Actually a lot like any of my regular blog posts



This particular post is:


02 of 20


End of Stickied Introduction




Wait. It says that this particular post is 02 of 20. That can't be right. I am leaving in less than two days. Shouldn't I be panicking?

I'm not panicking.

I must have a lot of really good ideas for tons of really clever little posts.

I kind of envy how entertained you're going to be.

Although when I do actually remember all these super clever little posts I might find it kind of entertaining as well.

"Ha ha ha! Feldo." I'll think to myself. "That's another good one!"

I will laugh.

I can hardly wait.

Because I am starting to freak out a little.







Monday, May 21, 2018

The problem with dictators







Stickied Introduction:


In order to prepare for a two week trip with my lovely wife to Rome it is necessary for me to write 20 blog posts ahead of time. I don't have a lot of time to do this. I'm not sure I actually have any time to do this. But I have made a sacred charter, somewhere, I think, that says I must post a new blog post everyday. So I wanted to put a stickied explanation of the desperation of my plight at the top of each of my next twenty blog posts.

I am hoping this will explain why my comments might be (checked (X) as appropriate):


__ Brief

__ Incoherent

xx First drafts

__ Silly

__ Unfinished

__ Borderline plagiarized from someone else

__ Borderline plagiarized from myself

__ Petty about the Internet

__ Pandering to the reader

xx Technically illegal in the country of Turkey

__ Ending abruptly

__ Too frank by half

__ Pretty much just the lyrics of some song I like

__ Actually a lot like any of my regular blog posts



This particular post is:


04 maybe of 20?


End of Stickied Introduction


I was roaming about on the Internet, which I can't make fun of here because I forgot to check the "petty about the Internet" box in the stickied introduction above. I shouldn't have been roaming about the Internet because I still have an awful lot of these dash-'em-off-quick blog posts to get written. So far I am finding they take just as long as regular blog posts in the pre production. I'm hoping I'll save time on the editing end. So as a warning you might want to expect more pointless digressions than usual. This is a good example. If I ever read this again I can't imagine I'd normally keep it in.

Where was I. Unwisely on the Internet I saw on Reddit the question posed "What would you buy if it existed?"

And I immediately thought

"A button that when you pressed it killed all the dictators."

But since my idea was roughly inspired by it, I thought of the story, and Twilight Zone episode, "Button, Button". All too briefly in this story a woman is offered a lot of money to push a button that will kill some random person she doesn't know. Eventually she does it. She gets the money. She asks what will happen next, and the button salesman tells her it will go to the next person, and, meaningfully, that person won't know her!

My button would be far more altruistic than that, but I couldn't help it. Wouldn't eventually I become the dictator of the death of dictators. And I would push the button, and die.

On the other hand, the fight against tyranny is always fraught.






Sunday, May 20, 2018

Delightful discoveries







Stickied Introduction:


In order to prepare for a two week trip with my lovely wife to Rome it is necessary for me to write 20 blog posts ahead of time. I don't have a lot of time to do this. I'm not sure I actually have any time to do this. But I have made a sacred charter, somewhere, I think, that says I must post a new blog post everyday. So I wanted to put a stickied explanation of the desperation of my plight at the top of each of my next twenty blog posts.

I am hoping this will explain why my comments might be (checked (X) as appropriate):


__ Brief

__ Incoherent

__ First drafts

__ Silly

__ Unfinished

__ Borderline plagiarized from someone else

__ Borderline plagiarized from myself

xx Petty about the Internet

xx Pandering to the reader

__ Technically illegal in the country of Turkey

__ Ending abruptly

__ Too frank by half

__ Pretty much just the lyrics of some song I like

__ Actually a lot like any of my regular blog posts



This particular post is:


03 of 20


End of Stickied Introduction



So in this race against time to write these 20 blog posts while maintaining, I should say, a minimum standard of Internet quality I have made some wonderful discoveries:

1. The Internet minimum standard is wildly surpassed the moment I merely glance lazily in its direction. 

2. Even though I was worried my stickied introduction wouldn't actually help me come up with things to write about, it turns out all I have to do is check off a couple of boxes in my stickied introduction and the posts practically write themselves.

3. You are all amazing!









Saturday, May 19, 2018

Template







Stickied Introduction:


In order to prepare for a two week trip with my lovely wife to Rome it is necessary for me to write 20 blog posts ahead of time. I don't have a lot of time to do this. I'm not sure I actually have any time to do this. But I have made a sacred charter, somewhere, I think, that says I must post a new blog post everyday. So I wanted to put a stickied explanation of the desperation of my plight at the top of each of my next twenty blog posts.

I am hoping this will explain why my comments might be (checked (X) as appropriate):


__ Brief

xx Incoherent

xx First drafts

__ Silly

xx Unfinished

__ Borderline plagiarized from someone else

__ Borderline plagiarized from myself

__ Petty about the Internet

__ Pandering to the reader

__ Technically illegal in the country of Turkey

__ Ending abruptly

__ Too frank by half

__ Pretty much just the lyrics of some song I like

__ Actually a lot like any of my regular blog posts



This particular post is:


02 of 20


End of Stickied Introduction



Hello reader. This is really my first go around with this stickied introduction. And I'd like to say a few things about it now that I can finally see it in action. The first thing is that its main benefit is how it took me like six posts to write it. If you've been following along regularly with clerkmanifesto over this past week you will be aware that every single post was an attempt to create a stickied introduction. So I'm still kind of addicted to talking about the stickied introduction.

The second thing I'm noticing is that while this stickied introduction is very inspiring and everything, it's not like it writes blog posts for me. I still have to think of ideas and words and all of that. That may not seem like much to you, who has spent your whole life thinking in words and speaking them. But I mostly have sat in mute harmonic meditations my whole life, so this is all new to me. The beauty of admiring a stone and all that.

The third thing I've noticed is the overwhelming temptation I feel to check off a couple of items from my list, like today I already checked "incoherent", "first drafts", and finally,