Sunday, June 3, 2018

World Cup or works of timeless literature

Stickied Introduction:

In order to prepare for a two week trip with my lovely wife to Rome it is necessary for me to write 20 blog posts ahead of time. I don't have a lot of time to do this. I'm not sure I actually have any time to do this. But I have made a sacred charter, somewhere, I think, that says I must post a new blog post everyday. So I wanted to put a stickied explanation of the desperation of my plight at the top of each of my next twenty blog posts.

I am hoping this will explain why my comments might be (checked (X) as appropriate):

__ Brief

__ Incoherent

__ First drafts

xx Alas, I just natter on about soccer

__ Unfinished

__ Borderline plagiarized from someone else

__ Borderline plagiarized from myself

__ Petty about the Internet

__ Pandering to the reader

__ Technically illegal in the country of Turkey

__ Ending abruptly

xx Too frank by half

__ Pretty much just the lyrics of some song I like

__ Actually a lot like any of my regular blog posts

This particular post is:

19 of 20

End of Stickied Introduction

As we approach the end of our 20 emergency blog posts, a feat I really wouldn't mind if you saw as astonishing and full of verve, but don't expect to have you see that way, my thoughts turn to just what kind of blog posts we can expect to see upon my return. 

One part of me imagines lolling about in charming Rome Piazza Cafes penning gorgeous elegies for civilization as we know it. And under that scenario I would return home and type them into this blog and in a mere two days you would be raptly reading them, so moved that you would type in the comments:

 "Nice post."

Well that would totally go to my head!

But a more realistic part of me figures I'll spend a great deal of time looking out on the sunny terra cotta buildings of Rome and jotting down pointless notes for my World Cup Soccer betting pool.

You want to know all about my World Cup Soccer Betting Pool?

I'm touched!

Also, because the Supreme Court today said we're all allowed to bet on sports I can safely tell you about it in detail. But I'll do it tomorrow. Today I wanted to say:

The World doesn't only get worse!

Yes, five morally bankrupt families will eventually own everything in a Democracy stripped of all meaning as the world flood, burns up, and kills us all. But on the plus side we'll all be able to legally get stoned and place bets on one last super exciting surfing competition!

A presto!

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