Sunday, July 22, 2018

Baiting the editor

Dear Magazine Editor:

I understand that a mainstay of your business is the celebrity interview. And as much as I would like to publish with you my essays exploring the nature of my essays, I understand we would have to work up to that.

I am willing to come up through the ranks!

I am willing to interview all kinds of celebrities for you, so long as it is on Thursday early afternoons, and they're willing to come to my neighborhood.

But "Hey," You cry. "How do I know you can handle one of these tricky celebrity interviews?"

It's an excellent question, and, with your perspicacity, I can easily see how you got to be a Magazine Editor, which is probably not an easy job to pull down. I have this question for myself as well. 

The problem is that, what with the death of Prince, there are no celebrities for me to interview here. The closest thing I have to celebrities in my neighborhood are flowers. And so I have been practicing on flowers. 

I am getting very good at interviewing the flowers.

"What," You wonder. "Do the flowers have to say?"

Oh man, wouldn't you like to know!

I look forward to discussing this with you some more,

Yours truly,

Feldenstein Calypso

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