And so after over a month of total dedication here are:
The Five Rules I Learned Watching the World Cup
1. The South American Rule
The road to the finals involves driving over Argentina at some point.
"What was that?" Asks Croatia and France, feeling an alarming thumpity thump under the wheels.
"Oh." Looking back. "Messy."
2. The Beauty is Transitory the Results are Forever Rule
Don't foul, simulate, rely on luck, dive, or kill the clock, unless, of course, you like winning.
3. The Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain Rule
Once we hit the knockout stages it would take at the most two or three insignificant adjustments of fate to flip any result.
4. The Rule of Rarity
The World Cup is not at the level of Spanish Club Soccer, but it's less lonely to follow and more dramatic to watch.
5. The Stars Are in the Sky for a Reason Rule
Even though football is a team game, you merely need six world class superstars to win a World Cup.