Wednesday, August 1, 2018
To be honest I don't pay much attention to all this global climate change stuff. Not only is it depressing, but having no descendants I guess it's okay if the world just holds together until my wife and I are finished with it. Then the rest of you are on your own. But that doesn't mean I'm not sad for you, or your children, or whatever. And I definitely don't like it getting hotter. I'm more of a cool weather person myself. So all told I guess I am against this Global Warming thing. I like glaciers. I dislike millions of people being killed in violent storms. I wish we could fix it.
So imagine my relief today when I read that 2018 is on pace to be cooler than 2015, 2016, and 2017! This means it is on pace to be the coolest year since 2014! It's finally over. Global Warming has been cured. Hopefully all the lost glaciers and ice caps will start forming up again and all the extinct animals will appear from out of their secret burrows saying "We were here all along, just keeping cool you know. Mmmm. Feel that breeze!"
Of course, the way the media put it was that 2018 is on pace to be the fourth hottest year on record, behind only 2015, 2016, and 2017.
Oh these nattering nabobs of negativism! Can't they just accept that the global climate crisis is over?
It's over. Do the math.
Anyway, we've got bigger fish to fry. Maybe whales? They're probably not even endangered anymore and I bet they're delicious!