Thursday, August 30, 2018

House sold






The heat and humidity pressed into the world all day, and walking through my thick and soon to be former neighborhood 79 degrees felt to me much more like 90. A storm was brewing. The big storms here can sometimes take a day or two to cook up. But it's night now, and raining hard. There's thunder, and the trees toss unevenly in the hard winds.

At work I see a lot of people I know and so I was ready for it: 

"How are you?" Like a curse.

I know that "how are you" is a mere pleasantry. I know that is how it was made, barely to differ from "Good Morning" or "Hi". Greasing the wheels. Making a casual connection. The symbol of an interest that can't really be fulfilled.

It is made for "Fine".

But it has its words, how, are, you, soft and heavy words, and with a shape. It hangs out there as fruit to not pick. It sits there rotting on the tree. "How are you?"

"Do you really want to know?"

("No")

"How are you?"

Heartbroken to be moving. We sold our home. Miserable. 

(I'll be fine I swear).

"How are you?"

How are you was not made for the likes of me today. I don't know what you're asking. I don't think those words mean what they mean.

"How are you?"

Black as this storm. Sad. Sad. Homeless. Swept away on a flood.

"That's great news that your house sold! You must be..."

Fine.

Fine.

Fine.

Fine.

Fine.














7 comments:

  1. Aw, I'm sorry that you have to go. I hope you find great adventures wherever you land, and love it as much.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Replies
    1. A plumber once told me that there are happy people and then there are homeowners.

      Delete
    2. fair enough to both of these, and as we inch closer and I see that glimmer of light, I think there will be maybe a wonderful lightness eventually, I hope.

      Delete
  3. Sad. Makes sense.

    ReplyDelete

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