Thursday, June 27, 2019

For birds, crickets and most of all, golfers

I know, dear readers, that while I have been home in my convalescence I have written a lot of posts about soccer. A lot of soccer.

Can I see a show of hands as to how many of you are soccer fans?


Oh. That's like 40 percent of my readership! I was thinking it would be so much less. In fact I predicated this whole post on no one even bothering to raise their hand, at which point I would say:

Don't worry! Today's post will not be about soccer!

It's about golf.

How many among you are golfers or golf fans? Don't be afraid to let yourself be known. I'm super welcoming here.

I just hear crickets.

This is amazing. I am delighted that members of the insect class have taken an interest in clerkmanifesto. It is an especially delightful surprise considering that I primarily write... for the birds.

Actually, what's even more surprising is that all these crickets reading my blog like golf.

Cool. Cute. Can't you just picture them with their little clubs?

One reason that we have nothing to say regarding soccer is that there were no games today. So instead I tended to health stuff, found a fairly wonderful youtube channel (believe me, not an easy thing to do) called Philosophy Tube, and looked out the window.

Out the window sometimes there is golf. 

I see the green. And I see the golfers try to sink their ten foot plus putts. No one ever makes them. This season I have seen a few hundred of these putts. Zero people have made them. Not only do I find this astonishing, but it also seemed like at some point it might be a useful thing to tell you about it here. So when people lined up their putt I'd get a little nervous. What if someone makes it and this amazing fact has to be qualified?

But no one has. And here I am.

They line up their shot. They take a couple of practice swings. They go for it. It falls short. It rolls past. It curls right. It cuts left. 

They look a little sad, these golfers, a little disappointed. I can't see much detail from where I am, but they look like they feel they should have made it.

It looks like they should have made it.

But out of hundreds of golfers I have seen, in a random sampling, not a single golfer was any better than them.

I wish they knew that.

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