Thursday, June 20, 2019

The best of 1900

Dear Publisher,

Please consider the following 1,900 essays for publication. Yes I know you cannot publish 1,900 essays. Even if they're short it would still take 1,900 pages easy, and that is too long for a book.

So here's what you do:

Read the first essay. If it's not to your taste just skip right on ahead to essay number two! Keep track as you go! By this method progress along the 1,900, skipping anything that doesn't quite suit you.

Ha! Well done! Congratulations on going through all 1,900 of my essays! It only took you, let's see, 18 minutes. Publish whatever that was that you actually read and we'll have pure gold!

You might want to use a largish font.

My agent will contact you, just as soon as I can find one.

Yours truly,

F. Calypso

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