Sunday, June 23, 2019

Why I should be published

Dear Publisher:

I have prepared a list for you of reasons why you should publish my book. You could read my manuscript and decide for yourself, but that seemed so cumbersome and unlikely, whereas I think you'll find this list super convincing and readable.

Why You Should Publish My Book

1. We share the same birthday! (Only applies to Publishers born in October. Contact me for more specific details).

2. Free gift for the first ten publishers!

3. Not publishing my book is kind of the obvious move at this point.

4. The cost of paper and binding has come down significantly since the 1400's.

5. Publishing isn't just about selling books!

Oh. It is? Sorry, never mind.

My bad.

6. It's our best chance at stopping Trump! (I know that sounds crazy, but Joe Biden seems to be running a whole successful campaign on it!)

7. I'm a pretty good writer, though, admittedly, I'm no Warwick Deeping, placing myself more at the level of Charles "Chic" Sale.

8. I work at a library and could probably talk them into buying a few copies of my book. Though it would be better if I didn't have to since it all seems so... awkward.

9. I take it back. I can totally write as well as Warwick Deeping! I was just being self effacing!

10. What are you going to do, publish someone else's book? Good luck with that!

For the next ten reasons send $9.95 and a book of first class stamps to:

Feldenstein Calypso
The Library
Twin Cities, MN  55555

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