Sunday, September 1, 2019

End of the world as reported in the newspaper: Day two

Here is my fever dream of the end of the world as it is reported in the newspaper. It doesn't matter much from which newspaper... In day one President Trump lashed out at New Zealand, feeling that the lack of cheese on his cheeseburger was attri  butable to them.

Day two:


Cheeseburgergate Day Two!
Trump Calls Out "Cheesy" New Zealand Prime Minister


President Trump is considering retaliatory action after claiming that the Prime Minister of New Zealand, who he nicknamed "Cheesy" admitted to "only sending tiny amounts of cheese" to U.S.

Below the fold story number one:

In response to increasingly persistent questioning the Prime Minister of New Zealand said she does not understand what Trump is talking about and was caught off mike commenting that she thinks "Trump is mentally unwell"

Below the fold story number two:

After a series of incendiary Tweets President Trump said he is as well as any man can be, and that "Smart people, loads and loads of really smart people folks, tell me I'm the smartest person they've ever met." He added that "the sheep in chief of Zealand will say anything to to try to keep America's rightful cheese to themselves". 

Meanwhile Warships have been dispatched to the Tasmanian Sea.

Third page analysis:

Who is the unstable one? Both Trump and the New Zealand Prime Minister are upping the ante on an international brouhaha about cheese, but maybe about a lot more. New Zealand may need to stand down, but can the Prime Minister save face?


  1. The thing is, I Googled to make sure this wasn't a real story. It's actually plausible.

    1. That's gratifying. I hope it remains so through its week or so run! Things start heating up tomorrow.


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