Sunday, February 9, 2020

Me and my beanstalk

I know what you're thinking, you're thinking "Oh my god, this blog is so awesome!" 

And you're also thinking "Wait, how did he know that?" 

And then now you're thinking "Holy crap, this is like really, really, like, freakishly psychic!"


Well, I can't be right all the time.

Now you're thinking "I was just trying to go to Amazon to buy some swizzle sticks. How on earth did I end up at this crazy blog?"



i am trying to sneak up quietly on the internet. silent step by silent step, for six years, i have stealthily approached this behemoth, this almost inconceivable giant of an internet. it cannot hear me. i am so small and quiet. i am moving so slowly as to be undetectable. i am tiny, beneath notice. but one day soon, inch by inch i shall be close enough. and then... 


The coup de grace! 

With one precise blow i will take out the whole of the internet! Mu ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!

"You don't like the Internet?" You wonder.

No. I just want to take it over. Then the whole of the Internet will be like this!

"The whole of the Internet will be like what?" You wonder.

Wrong some of the time.

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If you were wondering, yes, you should comment. Not only does it remind me that I must write in intelligible English because someone is actually reading what I write, but it is also a pleasure for me since I am interested in anything you have to say.

I respond to pretty much every comment. It's like a free personalized blog post!

One last detail: If you are commenting on a post more than two weeks old I have to go in and approve it. It's sort of a spam protection device. Also, rarely, a comment will go to spam on its own. Give either of those a day or two and your comment will show up on the blog.