On New Year's Eve we watched the film The Great Beauty. The Great Beauty is the most beautiful movie ever made.
I'm not here to describe it. I'm not even here to recommend it. I'm just here to talk about one scene.
The main character, Jep, goes to the Baths of Caracalla in Rome. It is late in the evening. There is a giraffe there. A magician tells Jep he is going to make the giraffe disappear. It's an illusion. He can't really make the giraffe disappear.
Jep is meeting his longtime friend there. His friend tells him after all these years he is leaving Rome. Rome is not, it turns out, what he thought Rome would be.
Jep is sad because he has been searching for the great beauty.
He is perhaps becoming increasingly aware that he is in the great beauty.
The giraffe disappears.
Back at work, after five days off, at a large, near urban library I am trying to hold onto this... feeling.
But it waits for me at home.