I received a letter this morning concerning yesterday's blog post.
Dear Anonymous Denizen of the Internet Known only as Clerk Manifesto:
When I read the title of yesterday's blogpost, "If a tree falls..." I got quite excited. I rolled my sleeves up. After years of following your blog, which is a lot of work because of your frequent posts and your refusal to write in the easy to read style that even our best writers now employ, and after reading post after post about all that stuff you seem so very very interested in, finally you were going to discuss philosophy.
That's all I wanted!
And though I only read your blog for work, looking for mentions of my company's foot powder, I nevertheless did hope that one day my reading would be rewarded, not with a mention of our foot powder, but with a philosophy discussion!
I love philosophy!
Name any philosopher and I can tell you their birthdate!
Name any philosopher and I can tell you their height!
Name any philosopher and I can tell you their preferred brand of foot powder (if they had one. Interesting note: Some philosophers did not have a preferred brand of foot powder. Look it up).
So when you suggested a classic philosophical discussion on the lines of "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear, did it make any noise?" my whole being tingled.
Finally your occasional wit, your every once in awhile moments of actual perceptiveness, were about to be put to some usefulness!
It was about dead trees.
All about dead trees.
Marketing Research Associate
Beauvoir Foot Powder
Tune in tomorrow for my response!