Saturday, February 11, 2023

Library news bulletin regarding spy balloon


A large silver balloon was shot down this afternoon in an area above the reference section of the library I work at. 

The first sightings of the balloon were in the early afternoon, when library patrons nervously became aware of it above the public computers. An emergency staff meeting was quickly assembled under fears that this giant balloon was possibly a spy balloon from the competing Washington County Public Library.

Nevertheless a policy of restraint was decided upon, and an elderly library volunteer who probably shouldn't be working on the request list anymore due to cognitive issues was assigned to keep tabs on the balloon.

At 2:08 in the afternoon the silver balloon appeared headed towards a hanging fluorescent light fixture and concerns regarding entanglement were heightened. A slingshot that has been unclaimed in the lost and found for nearly four months was procured, and after several shooting attempts with a variety of spiky, but not dangerous, objects, the balloon was shot down.

One patron was treated for "startlement" at the scene.

No spy equipment was found in any connection with the balloon and no one remembered why anyone thought the Washington County Public Library had anything to do with it, let alone how they could be a "competing" library. The debris, including the robust skin of the balloon were removed from the scene. No further problems were noted in the aftermath of the incident other than a tendency for staff in the area to speak in a humorously high "baby" voice for the next couple of hours.



  1. Real balloon or one you magicked into the scene? I think that SV library, the old one with the handsome wooden ceiling, usually had at least one balloon escaped from a child and lurking above us until it deflated by itself. Two schools of thought, of course. "We should figure out a way to get it/them down" vs "kind of neat, leave them/it alone. I was of the latter school, of course.

  2. This one's magicked in for the nonsense commentary of the piece, but I too always enjoyed a balloon on the loose at the library; let the balloon live out its brief and precious life. I thought I had an old balloon in library post, but only found one about a balloon loose in the city if you want to visit my wayback machine:


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