Saturday, March 25, 2023

God is always right


Today I was reviewing some of the history of Clerkmanifesto. Perhaps my recent, unmarked passing of the ten year anniversary of my daily posts here, sometime last week, made me nostalgic. And maybe once again I was puzzling out how, while for everything I can find to read and watch on the Internet, I do so alongside ten thousand to ten million other readers and viewers, but for clerkmanifesto it's just... us. 


Sometimes, rolling through the past work, I wonder what it is about it. What ingredient is missing? What has kept ten years of my writing out on the deepest backstreets of Internetland, where the wind howls and the cars rust? Tumbleweeds roll by.  A baseball field tucked into  acres of parched corn lies unused. And next door to me, the things you thought were on the Internet, but couldn't find no matter how hard you looked or thought should be there, play backgammon with each other and never answer the door.

But there is a classic joke, and I prefer a joke here:

A great flood is coming. A man waits in his house. A car drives up to the house. The driver calls out urgently to the man "Quick, get in the car. The flood is coming!"

The man replies "No. Thank you. I trust in God."

The car drives away. The waters rise. The man goes upstairs as water fills his house. A boat arrives at an open second floor window. "Get in the boat!" The boat driver says. "The waters are rising!"

"No, thank you." The man says. "I trust that God will save me."

The terrible flood rises some more. The man climbs onto his roof as his house is subsumed. A helicopter flies over and a rope ladder is lowered down to the man. "Grab the ladder!" The helicopter people cry.

"I have faith that god will save me!" The man calls back.

The helicopter flies away. The waters rise and sweep the man off the roof. He drowns. He is dead.

He demands to be taken to god.

The man says to god "What happened? I had absolute faith in you, and yet I perished in the flood!"

God replies: "What? I sent a car. I sent a boat. I sent a helicopter..."

And so I imagine dying, long from now, and going to see god. And I will say "First of all, thank you. Second of all, what was the whole deal with Clerkmanifesto?"

And god will reply "I sent a car. I sent a boat. I sent a helicopter..."

And I'll say "You did?"

And god will say "Forty-seven N. Oak Street, Buffalo, New York?"

And I'll say "No. That wasn't my address."

And god will say. "Ah well. Let us not dwell on these things."


  1. 😂😂

    Hello, sir. I found today and you are a genius!! I am binge-reading your posts. How are you not famous?

    God brought me here for sure. How do I know this? Because I have a 4 in my address and I live in Ransom OAKS Buffalo, New York so if that was random there’s absolutely no way! :) you are just the writing motivation I need when I needed it most. I found you when I when I was writing and apparently I make up words sometimes so I always have to check. The word was condeluded. It isn’t a word, I found, but it should be. And the meaning of it was perfectly defined by you sir. I commented on your most recent post as anonymous but now I will go by Cal. I am in absolute serenity here on this little cozy corner of the web. Thank you THANKYOU

    From, Cal

    1. Thank you for your kind comments Cal, and I'm so delighted that you like clerkmanifesto. I too spent many years wondering how am I not famous, but I never got very far on that one.

      Did you seriously look up Condeluded and then find this thing about Buffalo and Oak Street? That is some weapons grade coincidence! Like something out of a Jasper Fforde novel.

      Anyway, it is a delight to hear from you and, of course, you are welcome, in any and every sense of the word.


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