Thursday, March 16, 2023

The Plagiarized Winnie the Pooh, Part one



In which we meet Winnie the Pooh, who we might have already heard of somewhere we can't remember, and some bees, who we definitely know, and then there are stories

Here is Winnie the Pooh coming down the stairs, his head thumping along each step, thump, thump, thump behind you. It is the only way he knows to come down the stairs. Sometimes he thinks maybe there could be a better way to come down stairs, but there probably isn't because he can't think of one. Anyway, he's down at the bottom now ready to be introduced to you. Winnie the Pooh.

When I first heard his name I thought the same thing you're thinking now: The Disney character?

"I did think that." Said you, being much impressed.

"But this Winnie the Pooh is not the Disney character."

"He's not? Then why is he called Winnie the Pooh?" You ask.

"Because that was his name before he was Winnie the Pooh." 

"You do know that Winnie the Pooh and Winnie the Pooh are the same thing?"

"Yes, but-"

"How can there be more than one Winnie the Pooh?" You want to know.

"There can't be, really, deep down." I said. 

But just in case, if anyone asks us, this is the legal Winnie the Pooh and that's all I'm going to say about that.

Sometimes when Winnie the Pooh comes down the stairs he likes to play a game and sometimes he likes to hear a story.

"Ohhh, what about a story then?" You say.

"What about a story?"

"Will you please tell a story to Winnie the Pooh who I think might like to hear one?"

"I was already planning to tell him a story. But what kind of story would he like?"

"I think he would like a sweet story with him in it, because he is that sort of bear. And maybe it could have me in it too, because that would be more comfortable, for him, if that's okay." 

(Don't worry. It will have you in it too.)

"I already started it." I said.

Because I have.


The original text of this passage follows below. This is just in case you were wondering about the differences betwee my cover and the original. But you don't need to read it if you're content with my rendition:



Here is Edward Bear, coming downstairs now, bump, bump, bump, on the back of his head, behind Christopher Robin. It is, as far as he knows, the only way of coming downstairs, but sometimes he feels that there really is another way, if only he could stop bumping for a moment and think of it. And then he feels that perhaps there isn't. Anyhow, here he is at the bottom, and ready to be introduced to you. Winnie-the-Pooh.

When I first heard his name, I said, just as you are going to say, "But I thought he was a boy?"

"So did I," said Christopher Robin.

"Then you can't call him Winnie?"

"I don't."

"But you said——"

"He's Winnie-ther-Pooh. Don't you know what 'ther' means?"

"Ah, yes, now I do," I said quickly; and I hope you do too, because it is all the explanation you are going to get.

Sometimes Winnie-the-Pooh likes a game of some sort when he comes downstairs, and sometimes he likes to sit quietly in front of the fire and listen to a story. This evening——

"What about a story?" said Christopher Robin.

"What about a story?" I said.

"Could you very sweetly tell Winnie-the-Pooh one?"

"I suppose I could," I said. "What sort of stories does he like?"

"About himself. Because he's that sort of Bear."

"Oh, I see."

"So could you very sweetly?"

"I'll try," I said.

So I tried.


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