Sunday, July 9, 2023

Big time thrilling event at library that will shock and amaze you!


After all these years of telling you mildly amusing stories about working at the front desk of the library, about my wacky co-workers and the charmingly oddball library patrons, or perhaps dipping into my created lists of ten favorite cheeses by nation, or showing you a photo of a random bush that I liked, all to mild acclaim and milder audiences, I have finally hit pay dirt!

I have a huge story, of International AP wire level importance, happening right now at my library!


"Is this the biggest library story of the year?" You ask.

It is the biggest library story of the century! I reply. 

And I am understating it!

"What could be bigger than the biggest library story of the century?" You wonder.

How about the biggest story anywhere in the World for the last ten years? I suggest.

"That sounds amazing!" You exclaim excitedly. "But hadn't you promised to tell us how you felt about the Moose Juice and Goose Juice slushies at Universal Studios' Islands of Adventure theme park today?"

Oh, crap. I did promise that, didn't I?

"Yes, you did."

The great Robert Service once said:

"A promise made is a debt unpaid, and the trail has its own stern code."

You and I are on that trail, my friend.

We are all on that trail.

So here's my thing about the Goose and Moose Juices.

The Goose Juice is sour apple flavored slushie. The Moose Juice is orange flavored slushie.

But they failed. Like all marketing people they thought only of the surface of things. They thought the novelty of the name and colors is enough. It is not enough.

Everything has a soul.

A person has a soul.

A goose has a soul.

The trail has a soul.

And a piece of whimsical rhyming fiction has a soul too.

The purveyors of Moose and Goose Juices did not understand that the trail has its own stern code.

The Moose Juice should have tasted of meadow flowers, with a hint of blueberries.

The Goose Juice should have tasted of fish.

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