Of the painful litanies of my youth, here is a stellar one I remember hearing from so many an adult:
"If only he would apply himself..."
Oh if only I would.
I later tried applying myself.
The results were decidedly mixed, at best.
But why am I bringing this up now, you ask, when I have achieved so incredibly much!
you think I've achieved a lot?
Well I guess there goes my whole idea for this dark little essay out the door.
But, I'm touched.