Sunday, September 15, 2013

Famous people at the Library

I have written about my own famousness (link here, go ahead, I can wait. I won't type a word until you come back). But what about real live, mind bogglingly famous people?

"You must get loads of fascinatingly famous people pouring through your near urban, super busy Library, and you must have tons of hilarious, pseudo illuminating anecdotes about those famous people!"

Well of course I do! Don't think that because I'm in Minnesota we don't get the big stars, the cultural giants. Prince and Dylan are from here, and are naturally heavy Library users. F. Scott Fitzgerald, Judy Garland, Garrison Keillor, um, er, ah, um, the Dalai Lama, Jane Austen, Muhammad Ali, Lady Gaga, Hillary Clinton, Winona Ryder, Rasputin, Linus Van Pelt, Miguel Cervantes, all native Minnesotans. And though most of them have moved on, there's always some adored Aunt or something that brings them back for a visit, and when they come, and need an only slightly greasy book, this is the place to get it!

What's that? The Dalai Lama is not from Minnesota? Well, we'll just have to agree to disagree. Still, I can immediately sight my source (here). I hope you can do the same.

So, hilarious anecdotes about some of these famous visits? Hmm, they're not exactly hilarious. They're more libraryish and mildly interesting, which, when dealing with famous people, is plenty! Like:

"I saw Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck once."

"Really? What were they doing?"

"Checking out the DVD When In Rome."


No one will ever get tired of hearing that story. They will actually seek out even more mundane details. "Did they wear hats?" "Were you able to save any of their garbage?"

Anyway, I don't know where you got the impression that these stories would be hilarious.

Oh. I did say that? Hilarious? Well, I'll take your word for it, and I take your point. There are parts of this post, up near the top, that weren't a hundred percent accurate, but I feel we've worked through to a much better place now and it would be great if I could continue on in a more uninterrupted way, as much as I've appreciated all the attempts to set the record straight. Thank you.

Oh! I just had a thought. What if instead of trying to cram all these fascinating, er, vaguely interesting, famous people in the Library stories into the puny remains of this blog post, what if we had a famous people at the Library week? Then each anecdote could feel free to fully flower and instead of one Hollywood Squares episode, we could have like five or six episodes of This Is Your Life, except all with puny anecdotes instead of people. Remember how much fun we had during "Short Post Week"? To paraphrase one of my most esteemed readers "You kind of lost me with that short post week thing, but I started reading your blog again recently." So, yes, this could be great like that.

Okay, we're on then. Famous people at the Library week has now begun.

"But wait!" You cry out, before I leave. "How will I be able to tell the fake pointless famous people stories from the real pointless famous people stories?"

Alright, a hint. Real famous people don't really visit near urban public Libraries unless they're mid list authors, or half famous locally, or just famous by association, or, possibly someone like Keanu Reeves. But don't worry, there will be no stories about Keanu Reeves visiting. I hope that helps.

"But wait!" You cry, before I can leave. "When will you return to trenchant, clear eyed views of the world, all hard hitting and visionary and renowned throughout the blogosphere?"

As soon as famous people at the Library week is over. I must follow my bleary hallucinatory visions as they come. Read as you will.


  1. Replies
    1. Oops, failed to respond in a timely manner, but lo and behold today is Monday! So it's here, though maybe not the particular Monday you were talking about!


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