Was it just yesterday I was talking about the stages of grief in returning to work after time off? Somehow it feels like more than a day, like maybe it was a day and a quarter or, at least, a day and an eighth. Well, regardless of whatever lies Time has to tell about it, and Time is one crafty liar, I feel I have some unfinished business there. I just sort of alluded to the stages of grief, but I feel they really need to be explained more thoroughly. This is why I am going to walk you through the stages of grief I experience as my days off wind down. You are maybe wondering if it is appropriate to compare the grieving processes and emotions about the end of a weekend to Kubler-Ross's look at how people feel when they're dying, aren't you?
You're not? Cause I was all ready to defend it, but, you're sure? Okay then.
I have three-day weekends and single days off. We will use the three-day weekend, Thursday through Saturday, for our case study because it's all more dramatic that way, and the emotions will run higher.
Friday morning. There are still two days left of my weekend. That is a long time. The future is an illusion. Even if the future isn't an illusion I could at any second win the lottery and have no need to go back to work. Do I feel a cold coming on? I think I have a cold. I'll probably be too sick or too rich to work. There is also a nice chance, what with the perfidy of humans, that the end of the world will have come by Sunday.
This is insane! A wealthy nation like us and I have to work all the time. I have to work on a Sunday? It is unfair! I should be paid to blog! Bloody Republicans!
I'll do anything! If we don't go out for cappuccinos all weekend will I save enough to retire before I have to go back to work? I won't have a cappuccino for a week. How's that? Wait, give me a chance here. Two weeks. I won't have a cappuccino for two weeks!
I'm not depressed. I just really like the couch, a lot. And I don't have anything to say. And I like the dark. And I'm so cold, but I don't care.
Are we at acceptance already? I'm not ready for acceptance. I really think I have a cold, a bad one. And my back hurts from being on the couch for 20 straight hours. Please let me stay home. I want to stay home! I love it at home!