Thursday, March 20, 2014

The hottest book of the year

One of the pleasures of working at a library is that we are sometimes privy to information about, or sometimes even preview copies of, books that are about to sweep a reading nation off its feet. Having idiosyncratic tastes I am rarely so convinced of the merits of one of these books that I am willing to put it all on the line and tell you about it, but today, by grace of a librarian I am not even allowed to mention, I got to spend about ten minutes with an advance reading copy of a book that is so hot that the price on one of these "not for resale" copies, put up for sale illegally on eBay, was bid up to over $5,000 before lawyers and the like shut it down. Normally I would say "Yeah, yeah, yeah." I think I even did, but all that skepticism was completely forgotten after I spent two minutes with this stunning book. As eager as I was to read more of this book, I instead spent my last five minutes with the book transcribing the back cover. I present it to you here, just as it was:

Olivia Destiny loves her boring job as a billionaire pirate sorcerer who solves the complications of ancient and cute space-faring kittens. But being the heir and daughter of the Emperor of the Universe is a bait that a mysterious and painfully charming vampire from another dimension cannot resist, and she is hurtled into a reckoning with her notorious rock star past. Her love for a gorgeous, grey-eyed bloodsucking monster may be the only thing that can save the tiny, adorable, space kittens who taught her to love in the first place.

Written in the inimitable style of Finnegans Wake, but with more Yiddish, and with the pleasing pacing of Remembrance of Things Past, this is the first novel to receive an eight figure advance, which it was given on the basis of a rough sketch of the first paragraph.

  • 114 city worldwide author tour with The White Stripes opening for each appearance.
  • Ten million first printing copies already pre-sold out. 
  • Releases June 1 in English, with a new language in translation releasing each day following to mid July to a total of 46 languages.

"Yeasty, astonishing, Faulknerian, and then some."
-Publishers Weekly (starred review)

"I thought we were coming towards the end of story, but I see now that one of us has just touched the beginning."
-Toni Morrison and Cormac McCarthy (said simultaneously, after which they looked at each other in surprise, and said "Weird!" also simultaneously, which caused them to laugh nervously).

"A dense and impossibly difficult easy summer read. Prepare to be up all night working your way through the first sentence. (Warning! Cuter than cute kittens alert!)"
 -New York Times Book Review


  1. I must read this book NOW! Just, if you can, please tell me, on a scale of 1-10, how cute are the kittens in this book?

    I'll wait here for an answer.

    1. I am not going to say 11 because it is such a cliche, and I only got to read part of one sentence with kittens in it. But apparently Library Journal said in their 14 page review that this "Extraordinary book explores new territories of cuteness in which 'awwww' fluctuates with 'Awe'.

    2. I thought this post was funny, and I know what you mean, but your reply here is my favorite part.


If you were wondering, yes, you should comment. Not only does it remind me that I must write in intelligible English because someone is actually reading what I write, but it is also a pleasure for me since I am interested in anything you have to say.

I respond to pretty much every comment. It's like a free personalized blog post!

One last detail: If you are commenting on a post more than two weeks old I have to go in and approve it. It's sort of a spam protection device. Also, rarely, a comment will go to spam on its own. Give either of those a day or two and your comment will show up on the blog.