Volume 14 is finally available at your local bookstore

 

Yes, Volume 14 in the annals of clerkmanifesto is finally here. And you can pick it up at your local bookstore. It should also be noted that it is, like everything related to clerkmanifesto, completely free!

That doesn't mean valueless though! That's just how we're programmed.  Remember: 

Capitalism nibbles at the brain.

Anyway, if they tell you they don't have Volume 14 at your local bookstore, I urge you to make a scene.

 The whole "Karen" thing has given quite the stigma to making a scene, but sometimes is simply has to be done.

Just, it's better if it's done right. And over something super important.

You know, like Volume 14.  I mean, wouldn't you like to be able to sit down in a comfy armchair with a nice cognac and be able to read stuff just like... this?

Or, maybe not this exactly, but many posts in clerkmanifesto are slightly better than this one!

So go ahead and create a fuss.

Don't worry, though, the store will probably have it.

Protecting my images

 

I was out taking pictures of the old city today. And though I share my photographs freely, and with an open heart here on clerkmanifesto, I am, like any artist, terrified that someone may use one of my images without permission or without remunerating me to the tune of 1/1000th of a cent.

What if one of my pictures appears somewhere and no one knows I did it!!!!!

I mean, it could happen.

And though for 14 years now I have daily shared my life's work without anyone in particular passing it around, sharing it, or profiting on it, THE WORLD MAY COME TO ITS SENSES AT ANY MOMENT AND START SHARING AND STEALING MY WORK!

So I have decided to subtly encode my photos with my signature, er, copyright protecting watermark elements.

I hope it does not get in the way of your enjoyment of these lovely scenes from France.

Nearly as heroic as Cory Booker

 

As I start to write here, in between patrons at the front desk of an actual still functioning public library in the USA, the Senator Cory Booker is making history as he nears to making the longest filibuster speech in the history of the Senate. And though this may not seem like it will actually do anything against far greater forces of fascism and chaos raining madly down upon this country, there is no reason we cannot take inspiration from the bold act of a figure in opposition.

I myself take inspiration from it.

Indeed, I am going to blog here, uninterrupted, for as long as I can to support the fight! 

yes...

I am going to blog here, uninterrupted, for as long as I can to support the fight! 

While I don't know the official uninterrupted blogging record, I make my solidarity with this cause by committing to this demanding blogging process for as long as I can physically keep going. Whether that comes out to some kind of a record or whether it doesn't isn't the point here. The point is all of us standing up and putting ourselves on the line. So buckle up because not only do I have a few things to say, but I am going to be tal

Ooop. Pinkie cramp. Ow.

No, it's a bad one.

Gotta wrap it up.

Ow.

Thanks for staying with me this whole time.

Carry on the fight.

 

Something must be done!

 

Something must be done. 

Enough is enough, and I can no longer hold my peace. Something must be done!

We can all sit around like frogs in boiling water, but there comes a time when one has to boldly speak out. I am not afraid to say it! 

I think we all understand how serious the situation is. And though we may have hoped it would all take care of itself we can see now that things have only gotten worse. I did not want to overreact, and I held my tongue, but I can no longer. The circumstances have intensified. The problem will not be put to right untended. It is clear to me now that what is going on is untenable. The set of conditions are not going to resolve themselves. We are in a crisis. This is the tipping point. The emergency has never been more extreme. Something must be done.

Something must be done!

It is bad. And it is only going to get worse if someone doesn't do something soon. The time for sitting on the sidelines is over. The time for angry letters is over. The time for careful diagnosis of the problem is finished. No more can we come on to the Internet and exhort others to action. We cannot rely upon others to take action. No! That time is of the past. Now is the time for something to be done.

And so I boldly say again, throwing all caution to the wind:

Something must be done.

So I hope someone does soon.

The greatest essay ever written

Well, maybe not the greatest essay ever written. It's more like a short essay, or a kind of a modified paragraph. So properly speaking it's the greatest paragraph ever written, but that doesn't sound right. Also, "paragraph" isn't exactly what it is either, is it? I mean, at any second I might break out of the paragraph into the single sentences that are historically one of my stylistic flourishes.

Like this.

So probably we'd best discuss this as the greatest blogpost of all time. But I'm not wild about "Blogpost" at this point in history where "blogpost" has come to mean something more like "soulless marketing text" rather than a piece of original, independent prose.

Hmmm.

Greatest piece of original, independent prose?

I don't know.

It seems wordy.

Finest short prose piece?

Best all time bit of writing?

Top concise composition?

How about:

Greatest miniature work of literature ever written?

I like that, but I am haunted by one small, niggling detail:

How great can any piece of writing be if the author cannot be bothered to correct the title of it?

Financial support for clerkmanifesto over the years

 

Welcome to Clerkmanifesto!!!

Many people ask me: "Back in the teens when Clerkmanifesto was pulling in a lot of money but still had a policy of not personally profiting from it, what did you do with all that cash?"

Thank you for your question. 

Watch your step on the green slime. 

No, the cat doesn't bite unless he's in a fight.

I used the Clerkmanifesto money to buy land to create branded wildlife protected refuges across various areas of the upper Midwest. One can still visit the "Clerk Manifesto Woodland Refuges" to this day! And because of their protected status they look much the same today as they did when we acquired them.

Granted, it wasn't all that much money so please use caution if you visit.

Your questions answered!

 

Running a famous Internet blog like clerkmanifesto is a source of tremendous interest for people. Nearly everyone I meet is full of questions about me and about clerkmanifesto. Just the other day an old friend was in town visiting my darling wife and I, and, though I didn't mention my blog because I knew that's all we'd be talking about for hours, my friend couldn't resist asking:

"What have you been up to lately?"

"Oh, I'm up to this and that." I said, more or less.

Then she talked about her friend who was gored by a buffalo.

Fair enough.

But I know that lots of you out there in Internetland have so many questions about me and my blog, and I thought it might be worth taking the time to answer as many of them as I can today.

So please simply speak your questions aloud to your computer (or device), and I will hear them, but do speak loudly and clearly as the rest of the audience, being farther away, will have a harder time picking up on your question.

Thank you so much for your question! Yes, I wasn't kidding. Her friend really was gored by a buffalo!

Thank you for your question! Can I please remind everyone though to speak up as I think some blog readers cannot hear the questions. Yes, I believe it was in North Dakota. They were hiking in possibly a National Park there, skirting along a meadow, and not, as far as I know, antagonizing any of the buffalos in any way.

No, that's okay. I'm here to answer any of your questions, whatever they are! Just, if I could ask, please do project more as some people cannot quite make out all the questions being asked here. But, to your question, and this is not for the squeamish. They were gored in the stomach and it was considered a bit of a miracle that they survived at all! Apparently, though, a year later they are much recovered and doing quite well.

No, that's okay. To your left, through the gates, and then you'll see them on your right. Yes, we can wait.

Once again, if you would please speak right up so everyone can hear, but, that said, if you don't mind waiting? I promised the last person we would.

No, no, that's hilarious! That's one of the funniest things I've ever heard! Could you just say that a bit louder one more time so everyone can hear it?

Ha! Still funny. I hope you all caught that.

Thank you. I am touched by your sentiment. Most days, really.

I'd rather not talk about money, but, zero dollars, roughly.

That is extremely generous indeed! And you don't mind that everyone here now knows this?

Good point. I think some people are having trouble getting all of the questions. So to remind you: Please do speak up when asking your questions.

Oh my goodness! You're right! Thank you all so much for coming, and I do hope we were able to satisfy at least a little of your curiosity.

Yes, yes. We will surely do this again if we can get some of the technical issues worked out.

Our new library project is finally completed!

 

My library has finally done it! After three years of work, and over 14 million dollars, we have finally converted our collection.

It is now made out of blocks of wood!

Every single book in our collection is now a hand carved facsimile of an actual book! The process has been amazing, and the result looks fantastic. 

We started by requisitioning nearly half a million custom processed blocks of wood:

These were prepped and packaged overseas:

In our onsite workshop local craftspeople hand carved the blocks of wood into rough facsimiles of actual books.

From there, finishing details were hand painted by the brush staff to give the blocks of wood, or "Bookdummies" as we have come to call them, an authentic look.

Sometimes multi-book "dummies" were created, according to careful specs, for the higher shelves.

Here is a picture of the shelving when we were staging the pre finished books:

And here is a picture of the nearly finished project on the main floor:

It has been a huge project, and one with considerable expense, but the long term benefits to our library aesthetics and future acquisitions budget are incalculable. 

We open this new collection to the public in just under a week, and we are so excited for the library patrons to finally see what we've been working on!

Free marketing

 

Getting that all important brand identity out there in the competitive attention marketplace isn't easy. But most of all it isn't cheap! I can't afford to buy billboards, or place ads in an expensive Google Marketplace, let alone on TV or in print. However, with a little spray paint shoplifted from local art stores, I can get the word out about clerkmanifesto in a dramatic and eye-catching way.

So far my graffiti advertisements aren't in the best locations for foot traffic because, being time consuming to apply, and illegal, it behooves me to work in more obscure places. Nevertheless, trains are traveling billboards in themselves, and with a focus on quantity of location over quality of location I feel sure I can have that coveted seventh reader of clerkmanifesto before the year is out.